30 October 2005

Quiz Crazy

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.
You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.
People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.
When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.


Your IQ Is 140

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Genius

Blake. Durwood Blake.

Part of me was hoping for Jay Gatsby, but Durwood Blake?

I like it.
A name with panache.
A moniker with moxie.

Your 1920's Name is:

Durwood Blake

Tangled Up In Blue

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

So, Let's Sink Another Drink...

You're a Wild Drunk

You can get enough drink. Seriously, you'll just go puke and start pounding them back again!

27 October 2005

A Journey Into One's Soul

The following is paraphrased from the Dan Patrick Show:

"There are two kinds of people in this world -- Those that are fans of Journey, and those who are liars".

In the spirit of this fascinating human study brought to us by Dr. Patrick, I put the question to you:

Which side of the fence do you reside:

-- Are you a:

1. Journey fan

2. Liar

While writing this, I'm listening to Be Good to Yourself on their Greatest Hits, so I guess that lets you know where I stand.

Now...who's coming with me?

(BTW...did you know that Be Good to Yourself is the end credits track on the greatest love story about wrestling in the Midwest, Vision Quest, starring a young Matthew Modine and the amazing Linda Fiorentino. I know. I'm a sick man.)

Please leave your answers and witty repartee in the comments below.

Pencils Up!!


Please let that be you
Knockin' on my door so loud, soundin' like you do

I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but I've been accused of being a fan of the band Weezer.


I know...I know...it's inexplicable.

What gave it away? The button dangling from my rear view mirror? The incessant rambling about the true classics, Blue and Pinkerton? Maybe the "Flying W" tattoo on my genitalia forehead?

Whatever the reason...what's done is done. This is a band that was there for me from junior year onward, and helped me through the difficult years musically. (Backstreet Boys, NSync...you know who you are!! [Sorry Kaos...]

One of the founding members of =W= that I enjoyed most was Matt Sharp. Matt was the original bassist and provocateur of the band, always spicing up live performances and providing the crazy yang to Rivers' subdued, nerdish, introverted yin. Those same differences led to a creative summit for the band that's yet to be surpassed since its 2001 resurrection, and ultimately Matt's departure.

Between Blue and Pinkerton, Matt started a side project with Weezer drummer Pat Wilson, Rod Cervera, Cherie Westrich, Petra Haden, and Maya Rudolph (among others).

That band was named The Rentals. Their debut album, ironically titled Return of The Rentals, was a slice of new wave heaven, remarkable in its simplicity and archaic technical prowess. Moogs and distortion adorned this brave new world that harkened back to the days of Talking Heads, Gary Numan, and Devo.

Suffice to say, I was hooked from first transmission.

Which makes this next bit of news exciting..at least to me and, I suspect, the other two fans out there, -b...don't leave me hanging here...


Exciting, indeed. Looking forward to the new materials, guys.

In the meantime, I'll be dusting off that familiar white disc for a nostalgic "return" spin down memory lane.

A decade later, and The Rentals are still fit to buy.

25 October 2005


Equal Opportunity Epiphany

Read at your own risk. Odds are good you'll be offended.

Only the Eastern sects escape unscathed.

24 October 2005

Episode IV (In 4 Minutes)

A gif for you, kind reader.

Here's a cool little 168k file that the SportsLady found on BlogPulse.

Think of it as the Cliff Notes version of "A New Hope" with Lego figures.

Five Figures of Fun

Why? It doesn't say.

Although someone is none too pleased regarding the results of our values.

I'm guessing it's got something to do with the volume of our sites' Webmaster.

Trust me when I say that I displace hella more water than the SportsLady.

That is not in dispute.

My blog is worth $10,726.26.
How much is your blog worth?

23 October 2005

I Kin Drawl Real Goood

The SportsLady and I share something in common?

NU-UHH! That's crazy talk!

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

20 October 2005

Spooky Date

Just in time for Halloween...

Your Birthdate: September 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.
The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.
There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.
Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.
You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.
Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.
You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive.
You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

Deja Who?

This could be the easiest quiz I've ever taken.

One question. Voila!

Funny thing: In a past life, I was a Genius Chief, killed in Iran, but it was a duel.

Weird, huh?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Chief.

Where You Lived: Iran.

How You Died: Killed in Battle.

18 October 2005

Dewey in St. Louie

I just about fell out of my chair when I saw this.

Maybe the best photoshop pic I've ever seen....fr$%!in' hilarious!

Some people have way too much time on their hands.

Let's Go Cardinals!!

A suggested clip for the Busch Stadium operators to play Wednesday night. Enjoy:

"Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [thinks hard]
Bluto: the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT! "

The Sweet Swing of a Prince


A swing for the ages.

Now, it's time to go to work.

17 October 2005

The Curse of Keith Hernandez

Sorry if it isn't as sexy as the Bambino or the Billy Goat or the Black Sox Scandal, but it's still there....and, Cardinal Nation is still fighting it.
October 2004:
St. Louis Post-Dispatch sports columnist Dan O'Neill is already busy making excuses for the Cardinals' recent World Series futility: apparently Boston is benefiting from
The Curse of Keith Hernandez:

It's obvious something sinister is at work here, something perversely unnatural.

A curse has descended on this World Series, as sure as the sutures on Curt Schilling's ankle. And let's be clear, we're not referring to the celebrated "Curse of the Bambino," the hex that has haunted the Boston Red Sox since they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees after the 1919 season. The fractured franchise has been without a world championship since.

But this newly identified enchantment is so powerful it is neutralizing the Sultan of Spells, making the 86-year-old BoSox curse seem like an amusing little sidebar. The Red Sox finally have found an opponent with a poltergeist more profound than theirs, a curse that is reversing the flow of negative energy and threatening to frustrate Cardinal Country for the 18th season in succession.

The revelation revealed itself to this scribe and some colleagues early Monday morning. We were engaged in some incoherent conversation on a rental car shuttle bus at Boston's Logan Airport at 4 o'clock in the morning.

But, intentionally or deliriously, we were onto something. The Cardinals are in dire shape in this World Series, down two games to nil. More disturbing, they have not looked anything like themselves. The team, which was consistent and efficient enough to win 105 games in the regular season, has been out of sorts in this series from the get-go.

The Cardinals have walked 14 Red Sox batsmen, plunked three others and put runners on the bases like they were making donations in the Sunday basket. The Red Sox have plated 17 base runners in the Series, while stranding 21 base runners. They have had more opportunities than Tony Danza.

It's not like our boys. We have been missing location, missing bases, missing in action. Boston was nothing but bad weather, bad hotels and bad karma.

It's the curse, I tell you, the Curse of Keith Hernandez.

This franchise has not won a world championship since it dealt Hernandez to the New York Mets for Neil Allen and Rick Owenby on June 15, 1983, just months after winning the 1982 World Series.

The "Curse of Keith" has tormented the franchise during Tony La Russa's regime as manager. Each time the club advances to the postseason, whether it's Mark McGwire, Mike Matheny, Scott Rolen or Chris Carpenter, it loses a key player to injury. Perhaps the most inglorious disappointment was in 2002, when the team lost Rolen during a sweep of the Diamondbacks in the division series and then lost the NLCS in five games to the San Francisco Giants.
Keith Hernandez was born in San Francisco. You see the pattern here?
Don't think La Russa and pitching coach Dave Duncan aren't aware of it. When they play host to the visiting Red Sox in Game 3 tonight, they will send Jeff Suppan to the mound. He will wear No. 37, the same number Hernandez wore.

Soupie will tell you he is approaching this game from strictly a baseball standpoint, focusing on hitters, mechanics, pitch selection, etc., etc.

But let's not kid ourselves. The mission is simple. Reverse the curse. We can but pray that the Curse of Keith is less potent than the Curse of the Bambino. Or, Gawd help us, the Billy Goat.

This year's victim: Take a number with all the injuries.

Rolen out early in the year is a good one, but the one that hits close to the curse parameters is Al Reyes.
The Redbirds' rock in the bullpen goes down a few days before postseason play, and the big story on the struggling Cards: The Pen.
Coincidence? Definitely not.

Learn more about the "Curse" that isn't getting its own hype package here and here.

Plus, like you didn't know, Elaine thinks The Keith is sexy. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

She should stick with Putty.

Also, until Keith lifts the hex, he can forget about me helping him move.

That's a big step.

BTW...It was McDowell.
KRAMER: Hello.
KEITH: Hello.
KRAMER: Oh, you don't remember me.
KEITH: No should I [continuity error: in fact he SHOULD from the basketball game]
KRAMER: Yeah, you should. I certainly remember you. Let me refresh your memory.

[Newman enters]

NEWMAN: June 14th, 1987. Mets Phillies. You made a big error. Cost the Mets the game. Then you're coming up the parking lot ramp.
KEITH: YOU said, "Nice game, pretty boy."
KRAMER: Ah, you remember.
NEWMAN: And then you spit on us.
KEITH: Hey, I didn't spit at you.
NEWMAN: Oh, yeah, right.
KRAMER: No no no, well, then who was it?
KEITH: Well lookit, the way I remember it [back to the grainy 8mm film parody] I was walking up the ramp. I was upset about the game. That's when you called me pretty boy. It ticked me off. I started to turn around to say something and as I turned around I saw Roger McDowell behind the bushes over by that gravely road. ? Anyway he was talking to someone and they were talking to you. I tried to scream out but it was too late. It was already on its way.
JERRY: I told you!
NEWMAN: Wow, it was McDowell.
JERRY: But why? Why McDowell?
KRAMER: Well, maybe because we were sitting in the right field stands cursing at him in the bullpen all game.
NEWMAN: He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer on his head.

NEWMAN: It was McDowell.
KRAMER: Oh boy. Uh, look uh, Keith, uh, we're sorry.
NEWMAN: Yeah, I couldn't be sorrier. I uh.
KEITH: look guys, don't worry about it, I uh, Well I guess I better get going.
KRAMER: Wait, uh what are ya' doing?
KEITH: I gotta move.
KRAMER: Want any help?
KEITH: I'd love some.
KRAMER: I'd love to help you move.
NEWMAN: Me too.
KEITH: Ok guys, we gotta be careful of one thing. Some of the stuff's very fragile We're going to have to handle it like a baby.
KRAMER: No sweat.

[they exit]

15 October 2005

Story Of My Life

Luckily, I've found somebody....so I'm not as doomed as I once thought.

The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.

Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.


CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach

We can all thank the SportsLady for keeping one more Man Next Door out of our neighborhoods.

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name:

12 October 2005

Ridin' The Subways

Did ya get the Franz yet? Good.

Now, for some more music that doesn't blow...

Check out these chaps from across the pond.

You can stream their work at the website below:

The Subways

Oh, yeah...Jared can suck it...left one.

Cheers, mate.

Ryan Started The Fire!

Hot, steaming, Schrute up and ready for comsumption.

If that isn't enough to wet your whistle, there's mention of a sticky keyboard and Battlestar Galactica.

Ugh, that could mean so many things that I'd rather not explore.

Watch The Office.

That is all.

You're The Reason I'm Leaving (This Threat)


Why haven't you brought the new Franz yet?

What...my eloquent post a week ago wasn't good enough for you?

What part of "good music" are you so opposed to?

You disgust me. Do yourself a favor.

Listen to the streams here and then go buy it.

You'll thank me later.

10 October 2005

4 8 15 16 23 42

If you don't know, you better ax somebody.

LOST on Wiki
The Fuselage
Oceanic Airlines
Hanso Foundation
Flight 815

The Cursed Numbers (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42)

* The latitude 4.815 and longitude 162.342 are located in the Pacific ocean northeast of Australia.
* Boone found a map of Africa on the smuggler’s plane. Latitude: 16° 23 Min.42 Sec, Longitude: 4° 8 Min. 15 Sec. will put you in *****, pretty close to where the map showed.
* Hurley passed a girls sports team on the scooter in the airport that had all the numbers in order.
* The numbers are on the outside of the hatch,
* Desmond typed in 4 8 15 16 23 and 42 and then hit the EXECUTE button on the keyboard right after he woke up(4 space bar 8 space 15 space 16 space 23 space 42, Execute.16 keystrokes total) ALTHOUGH Locke only types the numbers (no space bar)
* The bottle with the drugs that Desmond injected into his arm reads CR 4-81516-23 42.
* It looks like the number on Jack's hospital badge is 81623 42(not 100% verified yet)


* The number of years ago that Locke was paralyzed.
* The number of years ago that Sam Toomie committed suicide.
* Leonard was playing Connect Four.
* The number of years since Sawyer made his birthday wish.
* The number of Aces (value 1) that were on Boone’s t-shirt. Also, Boone had another t-shirt with Asian letters that say 84.
* Number of Oceanic planes on the mobile in Claire’s dream.
* Number of months Michelangelo stared at marble “working” in Locke’s story. Boone then asked if they were going to stare at the hatch for 4 months.
* Number of spots on Michael’s raft.
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* Kate counts to 4 when she is close to the bottom of the tunnel and right at 4 the lights turn off and that is when she calls out to Locke then the white light turns on(This is a reference back to when Jack told Kate he lets the fear in for 5 seconds and then doesn't let the fear affect him anymore).


* Number of years Michael worked in construction.
* Number of years since Michael was hit by the car.
* The number of years Michael didn’t see Walt.
* The number of people who died in a fire in Hurley’s shoe factory in Canada.
* The number of months Claire was pregnant when the plane crashed.
* Boone had a t-shirt with 84 on it in Asian letters.
* Number of months Locke was talking to Helen before the crash.
* Number of days Charlie went without his guitar before Locke returned it to him.
* Number of weeks Driveshaft was going to go on tour.
* Shannon’s age when her father married Boone’s mother.
* The aisle for regulation footballs in Locke’s store.
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* The person Hurley bought the scooter from had a Crazy Eight’s hat.
* 8 is also how old Sawyer says he was when his Dad shot himself.


* The aisle for Nerf footballs in Locke’s store.
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* 14:15 was the scheduled departure time for Oceanic 815.
* Michael’s estimate of how far out to sea they were when the detected the radar blip.
* 11:15 was the time Sun was suppose to leave Jin
* The number 15 is visible in one of the seats in the foreground as Jack is running up the stadium stairs.


* Number of years Rousseau has been on the island (after hearing the numbers transmission that brought her science team there).
* Number of circles around the outside of the Oceanic Logo.
* Number of hours the flight to L.A. was going to take.
* Number of hours after the crash when the pilot was found.
* Number of weeks the lottery hadn’t been won before Hurley won it.
* Number of years since Boone’s nanny Teresa fell down the stairs and broke her neck.
* Number of years ago that Kate buried the time capsule
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* Number in hundreds that Hurley paid an old man for his scooter.
* The exercise bike Desmond is riding is on 16 MPH.


* The sum of both parts of the plane’s flight number.
* Number of the floor Hurley stayed on at a Sydney hotel.
* Number of the gate the plane took off from.
* Jack’s seat number on the plane was 23A.
* Rose and Bernard were sitting next to Jack in row 23, too.
* The reward for turning in Kate was $23,000
* The morning of their departure from Sydney, Walt woke Michael up at 5:23
* The temperature in Hurley’s rental car when it died.
* Sarah got her feeling back at 2:30.
* Someone mentioned Jack trips on a step numbered 23, but that is not verifiable yet. No screencap I have seen yet proves it.


* Leonard was playing Connect 4. 42 is the number of spaces on a connect four game board.
* Rousseau wrote down the number sequence seven times, creating a matrix that totals 42.
* Ana-Lucia was sitting in seat 42F.
* Room number of Hurley’s room at the Sydney hotel.
* The distance Hurley’s rental car had traveled when it died.
* 10:42 was the scheduled arrival time of flight 815 in L.A.
* Apparantly polar bears have 42 teeth ??
* The last number Desmond turns the safe combination to is 42.
* The mural on the tunnel wall also has the number 42.


* The flight number of the plane.
* The number of the safety deposit box Kate robbed.
* Charlie was trying to sell Copier model 815-C.
* The date of Kate’s time capsule is August 15, 1989, 8-15.
* Claire had a appointment at 8:15 on the day of the crash
* The number on the building Sayid walked into in Sydney.
* 8:15 was the time of death for the driver who struck Sarah.


* The total of all the numbers added together 4 + 8 + 15 + 16 + 23 + 42 = 108
* The minutes they have between each time they have to enter the numbers on the computer in the hatch.
* The mural on the tunnel wall also has the number 108.

Watch Lost.

07 October 2005

Your Galactic Desktop

Make no mistake. Your desktop PC is a powerful machine.

Don't buy it.

Here's an example of its potential:

Fun fact: (Space Probe)Voyager (launched into space in 1977) has an 8-kilobyte active memory in its main computers, versus a standard 128 megabytes in new desktop PCs for home use. That is to say, your home computer has 16,000 times more processing power than the computer running a spacecraft that has left the solar system."
-TMQ, 10.4.05

Your government dollars at work.

Which Happy Bunny Are You?

kiss my ass2

Congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by


Fast Food Nutrition.

Think about it. What about those two words make any sense?

I'm beginning to think that I've lost time at some point and find myself in some kind of bizarro universe, possibly involving Chuck Heston and soylent green.

If I haven't, let me know.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around the "nutritious" value of the new KFC slopbucket that they're pushing on commercials?

Oh, it's marketed as a Cheesy Chicken Potato Bowl...but I prefer Slopbucket.

Basically, it's mashed potatoes, corn, and breaded chicken strips, all piled into a bowl and doused with gravy and topped with 3 cheeses. For $2.99.

I'm no health nut, but the 2 times I've seen those commercials...forgive me, Happy Bunny...I've thrown up in my mouth a little.

Am I alone here?

Oh yeah...don't get me started on the BK Meat'Normous Omelet Sandwich.

Here's your stats on that one:

Enormous Omelet Sandwich
740 calories
410g calories from fat
46g total fat
16g saturated fat
1g trans fat
330mg cholesterol
1950mg sodium
45g total carbs
3g dietary fiber
8g total sugars
37g protein

The tagline: So big, Breakfast will never be the same.

Neither will your arteries.

SportsLady Haiku

Lying on the couch
Amber glow across her face
Zoe's mom; My sweet.

05 October 2005

My Name Is Karma

"Karma is a funny thing."

With that, I doing my good deed and reminding you about your second chance.

My Name Is Earl is re-running its 1st three episodes starting at 8:30pm ET this Saturday (10/8).

It's the story of a man who's found karma, in rectifying the bad things he's done in his life.

So, he made a list. Now, he's marking them off, one by one, and taking us along for the ride.

If you haven't seen it yet, here's your chance to get caught up.

At least now you won't be painfully behind the times.

Happy TiVoing!!

PS Watch The Office.

04 October 2005

Nipsey's Dead...That's What I Said

Nipsey Russell dead at the age of 80.

"A 1970s TV fixture known for his rhyming wit, Nipsey Russell has passed on, so here's his obit."

Is there no justice in the world?
I feel as if my life has come unfurled.

You are gone Nipsey, but not forgotten.

You Could Have It So Much Better

June 28, 1914.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria's assassination by Gavrilo Princip in Sarajevo was widely considered the trigger for World War I.

February 9, 2004.

The band sharing the Archduke's name releases their self-titled debut, to commercial and critical success.

"Like all lasting records, Franz Ferdinand steps up to the plate and boldly bangs on the door to stardom. There's no consideration for what trends have just come and gone. There's no waffling or concessions for people who won't get it. As with all great entertainment, it will divide opinion.
--Brent DeCrescenzo, 3/9/04


Franz Ferdinand's long awaited sophomore effort, You Could Have It So Much Better, hits stores today.

"The trick is to cede the idea that Franz Ferdinand are meant to deliver the cohesive, moving, traditional Statement Albums their debut may have misled listeners to expect. Some people-- earnest people, like Bloc Party, Sufjan Stevens, and the Arcade Fire-- will go on trying to fill that niche. Franz Ferdinand, though, aren't going to do that, and good on them: We can only hope they'll go on offering us cheeky, energetic surprises. Someday, maybe, they'll score a single as perfect as Pulp's "Common People", or pop up with a discoid treat as frothy as Blur's "Girls and Boys", but don't count on these guys to keep you supplied with serious close-to-the-heart-on-your-sleeve indie touchstones. Judging by You Could Have It So Much Better, these style-conscious art kids are content to be a fine, entertaining pop band instead."
Nitsuh Abebe, 10/3/05

I'll be picking up my copy later today. I urge you to do the same.

That is all.