29 December 2005

Last Peachy Post

I'm outie, kids.

This time tomorrow, I'll be on the road to The Cape and The Land of Oranges.

Hope everyone has a Happy and Safe New Year!!

Don't be a stranger....you know I won't.

23 December 2005

Marquee Matchup

Here’s a game for you to play at your workplace:
If they ever make a movie about your life at work, who would play you in the title role? Your co-workers?

Here’s my casting list (with a little help from my friends)

Cast (in alphabetical order)

Amanda – Linda Fiorentino
Andrew – Matt Damon
Ashley – Emily Proctor
B-Pizzle – Larry Joe Campbell
Chuck – Ed Asner
Cory - Donal Logue
C-Rob – Dave Chappelle
Dave – Brian Dennehy
Deb – Debra Messing
Dee – Alfre Woodward
Drew – Michael Genadry
Fadell - Regina Hall
Hayley – Maggie Gyllenhaal
Jade – Regina King
Jessica – Poppy Montgomery
Jonathon – Anthony Anderson
Kari – Lucy Liu
Kirsten – Laura Dern
Layla – Courteney Cox Arquette
Liz – Marcia Cross
Robert – Dustin Hoffman
Sean – Ethan Embry
Semone – Suzzanne Douglass
Wayne – Jerry Orbach

Note: These are only a few that we could come up with, but we encourage you the reader to add your ideas, matches and thoughts on other people-actor look-a-likes in the comments below.

Break a Leg!

17 December 2005

From The Hooch to The Loose

This is the last post from the home office in Georgia.

I have only one thing to say:

God, I hate moving.

Talk to you all on Wednesday.

12 December 2005

O, Holy Light (Bill)

Many of us in the newsroom have been getting a kick out of this real house light show.

Apparently, the homeowner, Carson Williams of Mason, Ohio, is an self described computer geek and has the music that you hear piped out on a FM transmitter, much like a drive in movie.

So, you can watch the light show in your car and hear the musical accompaniment.

Eat your heart out, Clark Wilhelm Griswold, Jr.!

courtesy Putfile

iPod for your iCod

OK...so I want an iPod, but....

I also don't want to wear pants.

Eureka! A great stocking stuffer for the pants challenged male in your life!

courtesy Fark

09 December 2005

The Case For Basil

Author's Note: The following is an email that was sent along to our good friend Richard at The Blog of Columbus regarding our other blogger pal Basil's big announcement in that space:

Hi Richard-

I just finished perusing your post entitled "A Dash of Basil".

I writing to confirm to you that Basil is a very big Catfish fan. In fact, I would venture to say that he's their #1 fan. The SportsLady and I had many wonderful conversations with Basil at the games the last two summers, and with the impending move to the Sunshine State, we'll miss the chance to rekindle our "horsehide chats" behind home plate.

At any rate, I'm taking this opportunity to congratulate Basil on being named a finalist for the Weblog Awards. It couldn't have happened to a better guy....that roots for the Fish.

Ciao...for now.

Again, mazel tov to our man Basil. Good Luck in the finals.

American Masterpiece

Have I ever told you how much I love documentaries? Really, I do.

Per the previous post, it should plant the seed to that very idea. But, I just finished watching another golden nuggest to re-affirm my affection for nonfiction celluloid.

The title of this gem, you ask? American Movie.
Just the name itself is something to behold.

Here's a review that I think sums it up nicely:

So sad, it's good
13 October 2003
Author: cortell from Austin, TX

I have mixed feelings towards this movie. I found the movie fascinating in the way people are fascinated by car wrecks, and I found it funny in the way one might uncontrollably burst out a laugh at the sight of an eldelry person slipping on an icy sidewalk. It's a sick and guilt ridden enjoyment. The lives of most of the people this movie brings you in contact with are so pathetic that you can't help being intrigued. But lives hardly worth living do not a good movie make. No; there was more to it than that. What sucked me in to this documentary was the perserverence and tenacity of the characters that carry on day after day in an existence that would drive most people to jump off the nearest bridge. People standing around in robes in a forst in the dead of winter for hours on end to help a friend that will no doubt produce a film only 400 locals would pay to see. A barely coherent old man who's too cheap to use the phone for local calls lends $3,000 to his nephew for a project he is certain is doomed. A mother who is as clueless as her heart is big sticks by her son through thick and thin. These things tug at the heart and, despite all the pity and head shaking they provoke, reveal a humanity that one can't help but be in awe of.

Oh, and the comedic moments are priceless. Uncle Bill steals the show in that department, but many others contribute. (The kitchen cabinet door scene nearly rolled me off the couch.) Yep; there are some priceless laugh spots in this film that almost make you wonder whether this isn't truly a mockumentary in the style Christofer Guest (Spinal Tap, Best In Show). But it's not; it's real life making you laugh, and that makes it funnier.

Yes; I enjoyed the movie quite a bit, but probably for the wrong reasons. But so did countless others. In the end, it doesn't matter. A good movie is a good movie.

Now, I know you're thinking, "Dude, you're just now seeing that movie? It came out 5 years ago"
Actually, it's nearly 6 years, but who's counting?

If you're like me and hadn't seen it yet, it's the story of a downtrodden filmmaker slaving away on his unfinished work, trying desperately and ambitiously to finish his dream with the help of his family and friends. All this beneath the snowy, gray flannel skies of Wisconsin.

Talk about someone perpetually behind the 8-ball.

While there are some life-affirming moments for our heroes in the movie, the film is a comedy of errors for the most part, played out over 2 years and the production and abandonment of as many movies.

I won't spoil the ending, but if you haven't seen it...check it out. I will admit it's an acquired taste, in that you'd really must live the filmmaking experience and shared the hero's dream to find the pathos behind the film.

But if you look hard enough and don't give up on it, you found something profound and beautiful against all odds.
Much like Mark's journey in the film.

It's all there. Your patience will be rewarded.

Hey, it worked for Mark.

08 December 2005

This Post is Not Yet Rated

Here's Your Captain Obvious News Clip of the Day:

MPAA gives film about itself an NC-17 rating

No bias was detected in the rating of this film.

The good news: The International Film Channel will be showing the doc uncut and commercial free in Fall 2006 to a TV with premium service near you. Pencil it into your calendar.

Touché, IFC. Well played.

courtesy Fark

02 December 2005

The 10 Commandments of the D

As a service to the lot of you that I'll be abandoning in the next few weeks, I know you're gonna be in some deep shit.

You'll be saying to yourself:
"What am I gonna do now that Core's gone?"
"Who's gonna handle the reins of fun and guide us to the land of hilarity?"
"Who's gonna fix my grilled cheese sandwiches now?"

Guess what? It's time. Time for you to take ownership of your life. I can't continue the burden of carrying your ass any longer and nurse you through the scary times. These shoulders are broad, but Atlas I am not.
Wake up....take the binky out of your mouth...and live.

Listen to my boy, Jack....and heed this great advice:

"Quit your day job. I know that scares a lot of you. Focus on your craft...one time...before it's over...and you've squandered it, cause you're a f!^$#en robot."
-Jack Black

Until then, I'll leave you with these scribes to live by....these nuggets of life-giving nectar that will allow you to sludge through your sorry lives...searching for those small moments that keep all of us going.

10 Commandments of the D
1. Never stop Rocking.
2. Legalize all drugs.
3. Quit your day job.
4. All Religion should be taxed.
5. Cut down on carbohydrates.
6. F#ck her gently.
7. Never believe what people tell you after a show.
8. Always take a spoon full of Metamucil after a heavy day of eating.
9. Get at least 9 hours of sleep a day.
10. Eatin' ain't cheatin'.

Feel better? Kick Ass.

01 December 2005

We'll Meet Again

Author's Note: The following was penned in the wee hours of Saturday, November the 26th in the Year of Our Lord two thousand five (Ano Domino).

It just occurred to me as I sit here on a cold Midwest morning. When I'm leaving a friend, loved one or acquaintance, I usually say something to the effect of "See ya later" or derivative thereof, but one phrase rarely escapes these pursed lips:


Maybe it's the optimism I always hold in seeing that person somewhere along the path of life.
Maybe it's all wishful thinking on my part, that somewhere on this mortal coil, our souls will find one another again.
Maybe we'll rekindle our last time in each other's company, hoping then as now that this chance encounter won't be the last.

We meet so many wonderful, fascinating people in our lives, it's hard to fully entertain the thought of never seeing their face again. Never hearing their voice. Never sharing a laugh. A fond memory.

Johnny Cash's final album was a beautiful album with a sense of finality and closure, and when I say that, I mean I'm not alone in thinking that he knew it was his swan song in life, love and craft.
The last song on the album was a cover of the classic Benny Goodman song, We'll Meet Again.
If you're not familiar, here are the lyrics:

We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day
Keep smilin' through
Just like you always do
Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song

We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

Every time I hear that song now, I well up. It's like Johnny's saying goodbye to me all over again.
But, in the same breath, he's not.
He's telling me that I should hold on hope for the time when we will meet again. That's when I know that I will see him again, anytime I want. All I have to do is push play.

With that in mind, I won't dare speak the dreaded "G" word. Not my style.

Instead, I'll leave you with a heartfelt and hopeful "See ya later" or even "We'll meet again", and when we do, I hope we make the most of it.

Thursday Madness

1. I've always been afraid of fluffy bunnies er,...what other people think about me. (I agree with KO.)
2. People should not talk on cell phones while people can be annoyed by them....how's that for a broad answer?
3. The one thing I look forward to every day is that first cup of coffee in the morn...oh wait, I hate coffee!!
Let's go with the daily blog buzz and emails that don't deal with work.
4. My first meal of the day usually consists of Diet Pepsi. Sometimes Diet Mountain Dew....if I'm feeling especially peckish...we'll have a Cinnamon Disk....breakfast of champions!! It's how I maintain my girlish figure.
5. It seems like cleaning is a never-ending job. Agreed!!
6. The last time I painted a room in my house/apartment was never, at least what I can think of...yeah, pretty sure it's never.
7. The next time I paint, I'd like to paint my first house in earth tones...though we'll have to run it all by the boss first.

24 November 2005

We're Retiring!!

Before I get started...A special thanks to DStack and the lovely Layla for a beautiful feast at the Casa tonight. You guys can have me over for dinner anytime.

I'm sorry I won't be joining the boys for Sunday football at the BW3...next week, pen me in.

As for the retiring, ahh...what a wonderful dream.
But, here's some news that almost as good.

KO and I are moving to the land of retirees and palm trees.

Florida. Fort Myers, Florida, to be specific...

Note: Something really odd just happened while I was typing that I feel compelled to share.

We're both sitting here at 2 am...getting ready for bed since I have a flight back to Missouri in the morning.
The doorbell rings. I don't know about you, but if the doorbell's ringing at 2 am...it ain't good.
But, I can't ignore...as much as I want to. Whoever it is, they know I'm home...and up.

So I'm opening the door. There's this really freaked out guy, mid-30's...slender, standing about 10 feet back of the door.

Obviously, he knows how crazy it is to ring a doorbell at this hour...so he's giving me some space.

Plus, I'm a big guy...so he's a little jumpy around me. He hands me his ID and explains to me that he lives in a neighboring apartment with his girlfriend. She's just kicked him out of the house on Thanksgiving, and all he has to his name for the moment are the pennies in his pocket and the clothes on his back. No credit card. No cash. No gas in his truck. Just a Sears gift card.

The guy needs some help. Plus, it's Turkey Day...and I'm not leaving him in the cold.

One problem....I also have no money on me.

Then it hit me.

"Hold on one second...I think I can find something that might help you out a little".

I run into the kitchen...grab the coin jar and dig out a roll of quarters. After we marked out the account number on the side, I opened the door.

"I know it's not much...but here's $10 in quarters, if you can get your truck to the Spectrum around the corner...you should be able to make it to your mother's house."

Charlie shook my hand and thanked me again and again....wishing me and my family a happy Thanksgiving.

It's amazing how things like this happen so randomly sometimes.

To be honest, I would've helped out Charlie whether it was Thanksgiving or Tuesday.

But, it's times like this that make me truly thankful for everything I have. My love. My Zoe. My friends. My family.

So, I'm thanking all of you now for stopping by my little stop along the super-highway...most of you fall into my little lexicon of friends and family above....some of you may just be dropping in for a spell...but whatever the case, thanks for everything.

It's friends like all of you that make life wonderful.

PS: You can read more about the big news from The Sportslady. Also, get the story as it broke first from Kaos and, slightly and bitterly afterwards, TarheelTV.

Ciao, for now.
I'll try to post from the Kansas City branch this weekend...if not, we'll see you Tuesday.

Happy Turkey Day!!

22 November 2005

I've Got Hand...Don't I?

From Seinfeld Episode 31: "The Pez Dispenser"

George: No everything is *not* going good. I'm very uncomfortable. I have
no power. I mean, why should she have the upper hand. *Once* in
my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand-- no hand at
all. She has the hand; I have *no* hand...
George: How do I get the hand?
Jerry: We all want the hand. Hand is tough to get. You gotta get the
hand right from the opening.
George: She's playing a recital this week at the McBierney School. You
wanna hear her play? I got two extra tickets, you and Elaine
could go...
Jerry: Yeah, that sounds like somethin'...
George: Then afterwards maybe we could all go out together. Y'know she'll
see me with my friends, she'll observe me as I really am, as myself.
Maybe I can get some hand that way.
[Kramer enters]
ELAINE: (laughs)
[Noel turns to Elaine. Jerry raises his eyes to heaven]
NOEL: That laugh. That's the laugh. That's it. You're the one.
ELAINE: No, no. It was an accident. It really wasn't my fault. It was Jerry.
Jerry put a Pez dispenser on my leg.
NOEL: You put a Pez dispenser on her leg during my recital?.
JERRY: I didn't know she would laugh.
NOEL: You lied to me George, you lied to me.
GEORGE: No, I, uh, um, wa, wa, What did I do? ... Where are you going?
NOEL: I ... am breaking up ... with you!
GEORGE: You can't break up with me. I've got hand.
NOEL: And you're going to need it.
[Noel exits, George chases her]
Isn't it funny how if you're in a relationship with someone, you want to have "hand", but when it comes to friendship, it's usually the opposite?

"Hand" in a relationship means having the last laugh, the upper hand that's crucial should the need arise to part ways.

But, no one wants to be in a friendship where the person that they're hanging with isn't as cool as them. What kind of good time is that?

Maybe that's why relationship where the two people are truly friends last so long.

The hands maintain the balance.

So ask yourself: Hand...or no hand?

19 November 2005

The Madness Continues...

KO always gets me with these. Here we go:

1. diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. They're shinier.

2. paperback or hardcover books? What are books? Are they on the internet?

3. carpet or hardwood floors? Since I don't like wearing slippers, I guess I have to go with carpet.

4. dogs or cats? Cats. That one's for you, Zoe.

5. fluffy or firm pillow? Fluffy...and body length. The bigger, the better.

6. fine point or medium point pens? Medium. I like a little girth to my calligraphy...if you know what I mean. *winks*

7. clocks a little fast or on time? Always a little fast, because the trick still works on me. Such a simple, simple man.

8. mahjong or spider solitaire (or other)? Mahjong.

9. wall calendar or desk calendar? Wall. No room on my desk.

10. 'Survivor' or 'The Amazing Race?' Amazing Race...though I could take or leave both.

18 November 2005

O & O At The Movies

Last night, KO and I finally got a chance to see Good Night, And Good Luck.

The verdict: A must see…for everyone.

Directed by George Clooney, the film looks at the historic battle between Senator Joseph McCarthy and Edward R. Murrow.

Murrow, considered to be the father of broadcast journalism, battles his network, the senator, and the papers with his rare editorializing in an effort to quell the Communist witch hunt spearheaded by McCarthy.

The film’s themes resonate clearly and can be applied to the politics of the day. For example, take this bold and brilliant commentary from Mr. Murrow and note how it, like the movie itself, applies today:

“We must not confuse dissent for disloyalty. We must remember always that accusation is not proof and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law. We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men – not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate and defend causes that were, for the moment, unpopular.”
-- Edward R. Murrow

The pacing of the movie was executed to perfection, and it’s refreshing to know that some Hollywood minds can still cut a film in the day of special effects and “re-imaginings”.

The film’s plot plays out very much like a Greek tragedy, complete with the Greek chorus, utilized brilliantly by Clooney and co-writer/producer Grant Heslow, in the role of the Jazz Singer.

I’ll be honest, old movies and black/white film stock has always been a favorite of mine, so some of my generation may not fully appreciate this movie.

To them I say: Get over it.

Plus, Clooney and Heslow’s story will engross you so fast that it shouldn’t even register.

If you’re looking for a special effects extravaganza, look elsewhere.

If you’re jonesing for a well-written film with wonderful performances from a motley of great actors, check out this movie.

With that, I'll leave you with this quote taken from Mr. Murrow's keynote speech at a Night in His Honor by the Radio and Television News Directors Association of America:

"I began by saying that our history will be what we make it. If we go on as we are, then history will take its revenge, and retribution will not limp in catching up with us.

We are to a large extent an imitative society. If one or two or three corporations would undertake to devote just a small traction of their advertising appropriation along the lines that I have suggested, the procedure would grow by contagion; the economic burden would be bearable, and there might ensue a most exciting adventure--exposure to ideas and the bringing of reality into the homes of the nation.

To those who say people wouldn't look; they wouldn't be interested; they're too complacent, indifferent and insulated, I can only reply: There is, in one reporter's opinion, considerable evidence against that contention. But even if they are right, what have they got to lose? Because if they are right, and this instrument is good for nothing but to entertain, amuse and insulate, then the tube is flickering now and we will soon see that the whole struggle is lost.

This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise it is merely wires and lights in a box. There is a great and perhaps decisive battle to be fought against ignorance, intolerance and indifference. This weapon of television could be useful.

Stonewall Jackson, who knew something about the use of weapons, is reported to have said, "When war comes, you must draw the sword and throw away the scabbard." The trouble with television is that it is rusting in the scabbard during a battle for survival."

Good Night, and Good Luck.

13 November 2005

Es "Locos" Abierto?

Sources close to me (OK...a friend at work) have informed me Saturday night that "consumer activity" was present around the new Locos Deli & Pub on 13th Street, in the Plaza de Miriam's.

This may seem like a small happening to many, but the opening of this new business has many of us at the station buzzing, pining for its doors to swing open and accept our hard earned currency in exchange for food, spirits, fun, and laughter.

At press time, this author feels that perhaps the proprietors are merely participating in "test runs", a time-honored restaurant warmup to make sure the food and customer service performs up to snuff.

With that, I put it to you, faithful reader:

Is Locos open, or are those bastards just toying with us? Your comments are welcome.

More on this story as details become available.

12 November 2005

Flighty Friday

Some Random Thoughts on this Friday Night Saturday Morning:

>>I just checked out the Walk The Line official site.

Very slick.

As for Ms. Witherspoon...Wow. I wasn't sure how the dark hair would look on her.

I stand corrected.

>>The SportsLady and I didn't get to the theatre to see Good Night and Good Luck (another great site)....maybe next week.

>>Big SEC weekend tilts (UGA-Auburn & LSU-Bama)...Will you be watching?

>>I'm making the bi-annual trip back to MO for Thanksgiving...plans are still up in the air.

>>I'm waiting with bated breath to see which new players Cards GM Jocketty will pick up in the Hot Stove.

I'm holding out hope for Brian Giles or Jacque Jones and maybe a new 2nd baseman. We'll see.

>>The Blues are soooo bad. Oy Vey.

>>Counting the days until my first Cottonmouths game of the season.

I'm jonesing for some hockey. Badly.

Enjoy the weekend.

09 November 2005

Touching Thy Inner Self

(With thanks to The SportsLady & Monday Madness)

1. Sometimes I wish I could just make everything alright for the ones I love.

2. If I could take a long weekend to drive to California with The SportsLady, I'd be very happy.

3. The world would be a better place if more people would just shut the fuck up and love each other.

4. One of my greatest qualities is my innate ability to (as Eric Idle would sing) look on the bright side of life.

5. The one thing about me that I need to work on is being a better listener. What? Huh?

6. Happiness is anything that starts or ends with the phrase "canoodling with my sweetie". Who doesn't love to canoodle? Or snuggle? Or both? That, dear reader, is one sad being.

Your turn. I expect participation.

03 November 2005

Waterworld, Or Breaking The Fourth Wall

The SportsLady and I are very excited about the grand opening of The Georgia Aquarium opening in Atlanta this coming November.

When the first people walk through its doors, it will officially become the world's largest aquarium. It will also host more than 100,000 animals from 500 species, and contains over eight million gallons of fresh and marine water.

Some of the attrations include the following:
1. Georgia Explorer
2. Ocean Voyager
3. Cold Water Quest
and, my personal favorite...The 4-D Theater, which makes its world premiere on November 23, 2005.

One question, though.

We live in 3 dimensions, length, width, and height.

If the 4th Dimension is commonly considered time...

Is not the opening date irrelevant?

If it is truly 4D, why can't it be open now?


30 October 2005

Quiz Crazy

Your Hidden Talent

You are a great communicator. You have a real way with words.
You're never at a loss to explain what you mean or how you feel.
People find it easy to empathize with you, no matter what your situation.
When you're up, you make everyone happy. But when you're down, everyone suffers.


Your IQ Is 140

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Genius

Blake. Durwood Blake.

Part of me was hoping for Jay Gatsby, but Durwood Blake?

I like it.
A name with panache.
A moniker with moxie.

Your 1920's Name is:

Durwood Blake

Tangled Up In Blue

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

So, Let's Sink Another Drink...

You're a Wild Drunk

You can get enough drink. Seriously, you'll just go puke and start pounding them back again!

27 October 2005

A Journey Into One's Soul

The following is paraphrased from the Dan Patrick Show:

"There are two kinds of people in this world -- Those that are fans of Journey, and those who are liars".

In the spirit of this fascinating human study brought to us by Dr. Patrick, I put the question to you:

Which side of the fence do you reside:

-- Are you a:

1. Journey fan

2. Liar

While writing this, I'm listening to Be Good to Yourself on their Greatest Hits, so I guess that lets you know where I stand.

Now...who's coming with me?

(BTW...did you know that Be Good to Yourself is the end credits track on the greatest love story about wrestling in the Midwest, Vision Quest, starring a young Matthew Modine and the amazing Linda Fiorentino. I know. I'm a sick man.)

Please leave your answers and witty repartee in the comments below.

Pencils Up!!


Please let that be you
Knockin' on my door so loud, soundin' like you do

I know this will come as a shock to many of you, but I've been accused of being a fan of the band Weezer.


I know...I know...it's inexplicable.

What gave it away? The button dangling from my rear view mirror? The incessant rambling about the true classics, Blue and Pinkerton? Maybe the "Flying W" tattoo on my genitalia forehead?

Whatever the reason...what's done is done. This is a band that was there for me from junior year onward, and helped me through the difficult years musically. (Backstreet Boys, NSync...you know who you are!! [Sorry Kaos...]

One of the founding members of =W= that I enjoyed most was Matt Sharp. Matt was the original bassist and provocateur of the band, always spicing up live performances and providing the crazy yang to Rivers' subdued, nerdish, introverted yin. Those same differences led to a creative summit for the band that's yet to be surpassed since its 2001 resurrection, and ultimately Matt's departure.

Between Blue and Pinkerton, Matt started a side project with Weezer drummer Pat Wilson, Rod Cervera, Cherie Westrich, Petra Haden, and Maya Rudolph (among others).

That band was named The Rentals. Their debut album, ironically titled Return of The Rentals, was a slice of new wave heaven, remarkable in its simplicity and archaic technical prowess. Moogs and distortion adorned this brave new world that harkened back to the days of Talking Heads, Gary Numan, and Devo.

Suffice to say, I was hooked from first transmission.

Which makes this next bit of news exciting..at least to me and, I suspect, the other two fans out there, -b...don't leave me hanging here...


Exciting, indeed. Looking forward to the new materials, guys.

In the meantime, I'll be dusting off that familiar white disc for a nostalgic "return" spin down memory lane.

A decade later, and The Rentals are still fit to buy.

25 October 2005


Equal Opportunity Epiphany

Read at your own risk. Odds are good you'll be offended.

Only the Eastern sects escape unscathed.

24 October 2005

Episode IV (In 4 Minutes)

A gif for you, kind reader.

Here's a cool little 168k file that the SportsLady found on BlogPulse.

Think of it as the Cliff Notes version of "A New Hope" with Lego figures.

Five Figures of Fun

Why? It doesn't say.

Although someone is none too pleased regarding the results of our values.

I'm guessing it's got something to do with the volume of our sites' Webmaster.

Trust me when I say that I displace hella more water than the SportsLady.

That is not in dispute.

My blog is worth $10,726.26.
How much is your blog worth?

23 October 2005

I Kin Drawl Real Goood

The SportsLady and I share something in common?

NU-UHH! That's crazy talk!

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

20 October 2005

Spooky Date

Just in time for Halloween...

Your Birthdate: September 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.
The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.
There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.
Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.
You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.
Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.
You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive.
You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

Deja Who?

This could be the easiest quiz I've ever taken.

One question. Voila!

Funny thing: In a past life, I was a Genius Chief, killed in Iran, but it was a duel.

Weird, huh?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Genius Chief.

Where You Lived: Iran.

How You Died: Killed in Battle.

18 October 2005

Dewey in St. Louie

I just about fell out of my chair when I saw this.

Maybe the best photoshop pic I've ever seen....fr$%!in' hilarious!

Some people have way too much time on their hands.

Let's Go Cardinals!!

A suggested clip for the Busch Stadium operators to play Wednesday night. Enjoy:

"Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Otter: Germans?
Boon: Forget it, he's rolling.
Bluto: And it ain't over now. 'Cause when the goin' gets tough... [thinks hard]
Bluto: the tough get goin'! Who's with me? Let's go! [runs out, alone; then returns]
Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...
Otter: Dead! Bluto's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
Bluto: We're just the guys to do it.
D-Day: Let's do it.
Bluto: LET'S DO IT! "

The Sweet Swing of a Prince


A swing for the ages.

Now, it's time to go to work.

17 October 2005

The Curse of Keith Hernandez

Sorry if it isn't as sexy as the Bambino or the Billy Goat or the Black Sox Scandal, but it's still there....and, Cardinal Nation is still fighting it.
October 2004:
St. Louis Post-Dispatch sports columnist Dan O'Neill is already busy making excuses for the Cardinals' recent World Series futility: apparently Boston is benefiting from
The Curse of Keith Hernandez:

It's obvious something sinister is at work here, something perversely unnatural.

A curse has descended on this World Series, as sure as the sutures on Curt Schilling's ankle. And let's be clear, we're not referring to the celebrated "Curse of the Bambino," the hex that has haunted the Boston Red Sox since they sold Babe Ruth to the Yankees after the 1919 season. The fractured franchise has been without a world championship since.

But this newly identified enchantment is so powerful it is neutralizing the Sultan of Spells, making the 86-year-old BoSox curse seem like an amusing little sidebar. The Red Sox finally have found an opponent with a poltergeist more profound than theirs, a curse that is reversing the flow of negative energy and threatening to frustrate Cardinal Country for the 18th season in succession.

The revelation revealed itself to this scribe and some colleagues early Monday morning. We were engaged in some incoherent conversation on a rental car shuttle bus at Boston's Logan Airport at 4 o'clock in the morning.

But, intentionally or deliriously, we were onto something. The Cardinals are in dire shape in this World Series, down two games to nil. More disturbing, they have not looked anything like themselves. The team, which was consistent and efficient enough to win 105 games in the regular season, has been out of sorts in this series from the get-go.

The Cardinals have walked 14 Red Sox batsmen, plunked three others and put runners on the bases like they were making donations in the Sunday basket. The Red Sox have plated 17 base runners in the Series, while stranding 21 base runners. They have had more opportunities than Tony Danza.

It's not like our boys. We have been missing location, missing bases, missing in action. Boston was nothing but bad weather, bad hotels and bad karma.

It's the curse, I tell you, the Curse of Keith Hernandez.

This franchise has not won a world championship since it dealt Hernandez to the New York Mets for Neil Allen and Rick Owenby on June 15, 1983, just months after winning the 1982 World Series.

The "Curse of Keith" has tormented the franchise during Tony La Russa's regime as manager. Each time the club advances to the postseason, whether it's Mark McGwire, Mike Matheny, Scott Rolen or Chris Carpenter, it loses a key player to injury. Perhaps the most inglorious disappointment was in 2002, when the team lost Rolen during a sweep of the Diamondbacks in the division series and then lost the NLCS in five games to the San Francisco Giants.
Keith Hernandez was born in San Francisco. You see the pattern here?
Don't think La Russa and pitching coach Dave Duncan aren't aware of it. When they play host to the visiting Red Sox in Game 3 tonight, they will send Jeff Suppan to the mound. He will wear No. 37, the same number Hernandez wore.

Soupie will tell you he is approaching this game from strictly a baseball standpoint, focusing on hitters, mechanics, pitch selection, etc., etc.

But let's not kid ourselves. The mission is simple. Reverse the curse. We can but pray that the Curse of Keith is less potent than the Curse of the Bambino. Or, Gawd help us, the Billy Goat.

This year's victim: Take a number with all the injuries.

Rolen out early in the year is a good one, but the one that hits close to the curse parameters is Al Reyes.
The Redbirds' rock in the bullpen goes down a few days before postseason play, and the big story on the struggling Cards: The Pen.
Coincidence? Definitely not.

Learn more about the "Curse" that isn't getting its own hype package here and here.

Plus, like you didn't know, Elaine thinks The Keith is sexy. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

She should stick with Putty.

Also, until Keith lifts the hex, he can forget about me helping him move.

That's a big step.

BTW...It was McDowell.
KRAMER: Hello.
KEITH: Hello.
KRAMER: Oh, you don't remember me.
KEITH: No should I [continuity error: in fact he SHOULD from the basketball game]
KRAMER: Yeah, you should. I certainly remember you. Let me refresh your memory.

[Newman enters]

NEWMAN: June 14th, 1987. Mets Phillies. You made a big error. Cost the Mets the game. Then you're coming up the parking lot ramp.
KEITH: YOU said, "Nice game, pretty boy."
KRAMER: Ah, you remember.
NEWMAN: And then you spit on us.
KEITH: Hey, I didn't spit at you.
NEWMAN: Oh, yeah, right.
KRAMER: No no no, well, then who was it?
KEITH: Well lookit, the way I remember it [back to the grainy 8mm film parody] I was walking up the ramp. I was upset about the game. That's when you called me pretty boy. It ticked me off. I started to turn around to say something and as I turned around I saw Roger McDowell behind the bushes over by that gravely road. ? Anyway he was talking to someone and they were talking to you. I tried to scream out but it was too late. It was already on its way.
JERRY: I told you!
NEWMAN: Wow, it was McDowell.
JERRY: But why? Why McDowell?
KRAMER: Well, maybe because we were sitting in the right field stands cursing at him in the bullpen all game.
NEWMAN: He must have caught a glimpse of us when I poured that beer on his head.

NEWMAN: It was McDowell.
KRAMER: Oh boy. Uh, look uh, Keith, uh, we're sorry.
NEWMAN: Yeah, I couldn't be sorrier. I uh.
KEITH: look guys, don't worry about it, I uh, Well I guess I better get going.
KRAMER: Wait, uh what are ya' doing?
KEITH: I gotta move.
KRAMER: Want any help?
KEITH: I'd love some.
KRAMER: I'd love to help you move.
NEWMAN: Me too.
KEITH: Ok guys, we gotta be careful of one thing. Some of the stuff's very fragile We're going to have to handle it like a baby.
KRAMER: No sweat.

[they exit]

15 October 2005

Story Of My Life

Luckily, I've found somebody....so I'm not as doomed as I once thought.

The Boy Next Door
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLDm)

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.

Your exact opposite:
The 5-Night Stand

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.


CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, The Peach

We can all thank the SportsLady for keeping one more Man Next Door out of our neighborhoods.

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name:

12 October 2005

Ridin' The Subways

Did ya get the Franz yet? Good.

Now, for some more music that doesn't blow...

Check out these chaps from across the pond.

You can stream their work at the website below:

The Subways

Oh, yeah...Jared can suck it...left one.

Cheers, mate.

Ryan Started The Fire!

Hot, steaming, Schrute up and ready for comsumption.

If that isn't enough to wet your whistle, there's mention of a sticky keyboard and Battlestar Galactica.

Ugh, that could mean so many things that I'd rather not explore.

Watch The Office.

That is all.

You're The Reason I'm Leaving (This Threat)


Why haven't you brought the new Franz yet?

What...my eloquent post a week ago wasn't good enough for you?

What part of "good music" are you so opposed to?

You disgust me. Do yourself a favor.

Listen to the streams here and then go buy it.

You'll thank me later.

10 October 2005

4 8 15 16 23 42

If you don't know, you better ax somebody.

LOST on Wiki
The Fuselage
Oceanic Airlines
Hanso Foundation
Flight 815

The Cursed Numbers (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42)

* The latitude 4.815 and longitude 162.342 are located in the Pacific ocean northeast of Australia.
* Boone found a map of Africa on the smuggler’s plane. Latitude: 16° 23 Min.42 Sec, Longitude: 4° 8 Min. 15 Sec. will put you in *****, pretty close to where the map showed.
* Hurley passed a girls sports team on the scooter in the airport that had all the numbers in order.
* The numbers are on the outside of the hatch,
* Desmond typed in 4 8 15 16 23 and 42 and then hit the EXECUTE button on the keyboard right after he woke up(4 space bar 8 space 15 space 16 space 23 space 42, Execute.16 keystrokes total) ALTHOUGH Locke only types the numbers (no space bar)
* The bottle with the drugs that Desmond injected into his arm reads CR 4-81516-23 42.
* It looks like the number on Jack's hospital badge is 81623 42(not 100% verified yet)


* The number of years ago that Locke was paralyzed.
* The number of years ago that Sam Toomie committed suicide.
* Leonard was playing Connect Four.
* The number of years since Sawyer made his birthday wish.
* The number of Aces (value 1) that were on Boone’s t-shirt. Also, Boone had another t-shirt with Asian letters that say 84.
* Number of Oceanic planes on the mobile in Claire’s dream.
* Number of months Michelangelo stared at marble “working” in Locke’s story. Boone then asked if they were going to stare at the hatch for 4 months.
* Number of spots on Michael’s raft.
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* Kate counts to 4 when she is close to the bottom of the tunnel and right at 4 the lights turn off and that is when she calls out to Locke then the white light turns on(This is a reference back to when Jack told Kate he lets the fear in for 5 seconds and then doesn't let the fear affect him anymore).


* Number of years Michael worked in construction.
* Number of years since Michael was hit by the car.
* The number of years Michael didn’t see Walt.
* The number of people who died in a fire in Hurley’s shoe factory in Canada.
* The number of months Claire was pregnant when the plane crashed.
* Boone had a t-shirt with 84 on it in Asian letters.
* Number of months Locke was talking to Helen before the crash.
* Number of days Charlie went without his guitar before Locke returned it to him.
* Number of weeks Driveshaft was going to go on tour.
* Shannon’s age when her father married Boone’s mother.
* The aisle for regulation footballs in Locke’s store.
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* The person Hurley bought the scooter from had a Crazy Eight’s hat.
* 8 is also how old Sawyer says he was when his Dad shot himself.


* The aisle for Nerf footballs in Locke’s store.
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* 14:15 was the scheduled departure time for Oceanic 815.
* Michael’s estimate of how far out to sea they were when the detected the radar blip.
* 11:15 was the time Sun was suppose to leave Jin
* The number 15 is visible in one of the seats in the foreground as Jack is running up the stadium stairs.


* Number of years Rousseau has been on the island (after hearing the numbers transmission that brought her science team there).
* Number of circles around the outside of the Oceanic Logo.
* Number of hours the flight to L.A. was going to take.
* Number of hours after the crash when the pilot was found.
* Number of weeks the lottery hadn’t been won before Hurley won it.
* Number of years since Boone’s nanny Teresa fell down the stairs and broke her neck.
* Number of years ago that Kate buried the time capsule
* A speed that Hurley’s rental car displayed as it died.
* Number in hundreds that Hurley paid an old man for his scooter.
* The exercise bike Desmond is riding is on 16 MPH.


* The sum of both parts of the plane’s flight number.
* Number of the floor Hurley stayed on at a Sydney hotel.
* Number of the gate the plane took off from.
* Jack’s seat number on the plane was 23A.
* Rose and Bernard were sitting next to Jack in row 23, too.
* The reward for turning in Kate was $23,000
* The morning of their departure from Sydney, Walt woke Michael up at 5:23
* The temperature in Hurley’s rental car when it died.
* Sarah got her feeling back at 2:30.
* Someone mentioned Jack trips on a step numbered 23, but that is not verifiable yet. No screencap I have seen yet proves it.


* Leonard was playing Connect 4. 42 is the number of spaces on a connect four game board.
* Rousseau wrote down the number sequence seven times, creating a matrix that totals 42.
* Ana-Lucia was sitting in seat 42F.
* Room number of Hurley’s room at the Sydney hotel.
* The distance Hurley’s rental car had traveled when it died.
* 10:42 was the scheduled arrival time of flight 815 in L.A.
* Apparantly polar bears have 42 teeth ??
* The last number Desmond turns the safe combination to is 42.
* The mural on the tunnel wall also has the number 42.


* The flight number of the plane.
* The number of the safety deposit box Kate robbed.
* Charlie was trying to sell Copier model 815-C.
* The date of Kate’s time capsule is August 15, 1989, 8-15.
* Claire had a appointment at 8:15 on the day of the crash
* The number on the building Sayid walked into in Sydney.
* 8:15 was the time of death for the driver who struck Sarah.


* The total of all the numbers added together 4 + 8 + 15 + 16 + 23 + 42 = 108
* The minutes they have between each time they have to enter the numbers on the computer in the hatch.
* The mural on the tunnel wall also has the number 108.

Watch Lost.

07 October 2005

Your Galactic Desktop

Make no mistake. Your desktop PC is a powerful machine.

Don't buy it.

Here's an example of its potential:

Fun fact: (Space Probe)Voyager (launched into space in 1977) has an 8-kilobyte active memory in its main computers, versus a standard 128 megabytes in new desktop PCs for home use. That is to say, your home computer has 16,000 times more processing power than the computer running a spacecraft that has left the solar system."
-TMQ, 10.4.05

Your government dollars at work.

Which Happy Bunny Are You?

kiss my ass2

Congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by


Fast Food Nutrition.

Think about it. What about those two words make any sense?

I'm beginning to think that I've lost time at some point and find myself in some kind of bizarro universe, possibly involving Chuck Heston and soylent green.

If I haven't, let me know.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around the "nutritious" value of the new KFC slopbucket that they're pushing on commercials?

Oh, it's marketed as a Cheesy Chicken Potato Bowl...but I prefer Slopbucket.

Basically, it's mashed potatoes, corn, and breaded chicken strips, all piled into a bowl and doused with gravy and topped with 3 cheeses. For $2.99.

I'm no health nut, but the 2 times I've seen those commercials...forgive me, Happy Bunny...I've thrown up in my mouth a little.

Am I alone here?

Oh yeah...don't get me started on the BK Meat'Normous Omelet Sandwich.

Here's your stats on that one:

Enormous Omelet Sandwich
740 calories
410g calories from fat
46g total fat
16g saturated fat
1g trans fat
330mg cholesterol
1950mg sodium
45g total carbs
3g dietary fiber
8g total sugars
37g protein

The tagline: So big, Breakfast will never be the same.

Neither will your arteries.

SportsLady Haiku

Lying on the couch
Amber glow across her face
Zoe's mom; My sweet.

05 October 2005

My Name Is Karma

"Karma is a funny thing."

With that, I doing my good deed and reminding you about your second chance.

My Name Is Earl is re-running its 1st three episodes starting at 8:30pm ET this Saturday (10/8).

It's the story of a man who's found karma, in rectifying the bad things he's done in his life.

So, he made a list. Now, he's marking them off, one by one, and taking us along for the ride.

If you haven't seen it yet, here's your chance to get caught up.

At least now you won't be painfully behind the times.

Happy TiVoing!!

PS Watch The Office.

04 October 2005

Nipsey's Dead...That's What I Said

Nipsey Russell dead at the age of 80.

"A 1970s TV fixture known for his rhyming wit, Nipsey Russell has passed on, so here's his obit."

Is there no justice in the world?
I feel as if my life has come unfurled.

You are gone Nipsey, but not forgotten.

You Could Have It So Much Better

June 28, 1914.

Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria's assassination by Gavrilo Princip in Sarajevo was widely considered the trigger for World War I.

February 9, 2004.

The band sharing the Archduke's name releases their self-titled debut, to commercial and critical success.

"Like all lasting records, Franz Ferdinand steps up to the plate and boldly bangs on the door to stardom. There's no consideration for what trends have just come and gone. There's no waffling or concessions for people who won't get it. As with all great entertainment, it will divide opinion.
--Brent DeCrescenzo, 3/9/04


Franz Ferdinand's long awaited sophomore effort, You Could Have It So Much Better, hits stores today.

"The trick is to cede the idea that Franz Ferdinand are meant to deliver the cohesive, moving, traditional Statement Albums their debut may have misled listeners to expect. Some people-- earnest people, like Bloc Party, Sufjan Stevens, and the Arcade Fire-- will go on trying to fill that niche. Franz Ferdinand, though, aren't going to do that, and good on them: We can only hope they'll go on offering us cheeky, energetic surprises. Someday, maybe, they'll score a single as perfect as Pulp's "Common People", or pop up with a discoid treat as frothy as Blur's "Girls and Boys", but don't count on these guys to keep you supplied with serious close-to-the-heart-on-your-sleeve indie touchstones. Judging by You Could Have It So Much Better, these style-conscious art kids are content to be a fine, entertaining pop band instead."
Nitsuh Abebe, 10/3/05

I'll be picking up my copy later today. I urge you to do the same.

That is all.

30 September 2005

We're an American Banned

How is it that Banned Books Week is nearly over and I'm just now realizing it?

I'm so mad I could censor something.

At any rate, Wikipedia has a nice list of books I've copied below that have been banned and/or challenged at some point over the years.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine
Alice series by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor ISBN 0689816723
All I Need Is Love by Klaus Kinski
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez ISBN 0671882317
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction by Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show (banned for a very brief period of time in one library system in Mississippi)
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Anastasia Krupnik by Lois Lowry
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
The Arabian Nights
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge ISBN 0763626953
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole ISBN 0688069282
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher ISBN 0060507837
The Banditti of the Plains by A. S. Mercer
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause
Blubber by Judy Blume
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Boys of Swithins Hall by Chris Kent
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Brimstone and Treacle by Dennis Potter (BBC television version banned by the BBC)
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard ISBN 0440412862

Call of the Wild by Jack London
Can Such Things Be? by Ambrose Bierce
Candide by Voltaire
The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
The Case for India by Will Durant
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
The Children of Sanchez by Oscar Lewis
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly ISBN 0064405710
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
Cujo by Stephen King
Cunt by Stewart Home
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite ISBN 1555831184
The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys by Chris Fuhrman
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
Death in Venice by Thomas Mann
The Decameron by Boccaccio
Deenie by Judy Blume
Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin
Did Six Million Really Die? by Ernst Zündel
Down These Mean Streets by Piri Thomas
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene ISBN 0553074377
Dubliners by James Joyce

Earth's Children (series) by Jean M. Auel
E for Ecstasy by Nicholas Saunders
Encyclopédie, edited by Jean le Rond d'Alembert and Denis Diderot
Essays by Michel de Montaigne
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Fade by Robert Cormier
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
The Family by Ed Sanders
Family Limitation (a pamphlet) by Margaret Sanger
Family Secrets by Norma Klein ISBN 0449701956
Fanny Hill by John Cleland
Final Exit by Derek Humphry ISBN 0385336535
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Flowers in the Attic by Virginia C. Andrews
Forced Into Glory: Abraham Lincoln's White Dream by Lerone Bennett, Jr.
Forever by Judy Blume
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger
The Fuck-Up by Arthur Nersesian
G.B. Jones edited by Steve LaFreniere
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
The Giver by Lois Lowry
Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis
The Glass Teat by Harlan Ellison
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
The Goats by Brock Cole ISBN 0374425752
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Goosebumps (series) by R.L. Stine
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
Gruppa Finlandija by Pentti Syrjä (Finland, 1986)
Guess What? by Mem Fox

Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
Hamlet by William Shakespeare
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Harmful to Minors by Judith Levine
Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
Heather Has Two Mommies by Lesléa Newman
Hit Man manual by Rex Feral
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The House of Bernarda Alba by Federico Garcia Lorca
Howl by Allen Ginsberg
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell ISBN 0440445450
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Investigaor by Reuben Ship (radio play}
The Iron Dream by Norman Spinrad
It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris ISBN 1564021599
Jack by A.M. Homes
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Jerusalem Delivered by Tasso
Jenny lives with Eric and Martin by Susanne Bösche
The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort
Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
Juliette by the Marquis de Sade
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier ISBN 0440443237
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Kama Sutra
Kiki's Memoirs by Alice Prin (Kiki de Montparnasse)
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
The Kingdom of God is Within You by Leo Tolstoy
King Lear by William Shakespeare
The Last Temptation of Christ by Nikos Kazantzakis
Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Last Exit to Brooklyn by Hubert Selby Jr.
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Long Hard Road Out Of Hell by Marilyn Manson
The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Lysistrata by Aristophanes

Macbeth by William Shakespeare
Magnum Crimen by Viktor Novak See Jasenovac concentration camp
Marks of Identity by Juan Goytisolo
The Making of a Godol by Nathan Kamenetsky (Mesorah, 2003) (scope of ban is among ultra-Orthodox rabbis)
Maurice by E.M. Forster
Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
Les Meditations Metaphysiques by Rene Descartes
Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe
The Monk by Matthew Lewis
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole ISBN 0811813193
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Mountain Wreath by Petar II Petrovi? Njegoš
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier ISBN 059042792X
My Friend Flicka by Mary O'Hara
My Secret Life by 'Walter'
The Myth of Heterosexual AIDS by Michael Fumento
Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
Native Son by Richard Wright
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein ISBN 0060012730
The Nigger of the Narcissus by Joseph Conrad
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer ISBN 0440466334
One of the Guys by Robert Clark Young
The 120 Days of Sodom by Marquis de Sade
Open Veins of Latin America by Eduardo Galeano
Origin of the Species by Charles Darwin
The Other Glass Teat by Harlan Ellison
Our Friend The King by Gilles Perrault
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Pernkopf's Anatomy by Eduard Pernkopf ISBN 0683068547
Philosophy in the Bedroom by the Marquis de Sade
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Private Parts by Howard Stern
The Provincial Letters by Blaise Pascal
The Qu'ran: The Early Revelations by Michael Anthony Sells ISBN 1883991269
The Rainbow series by
Alex Sanchez
The Rights of Man by Thomas Paine
The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher

The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin_Schwartz_ScaryStories
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
Sex by Madonna
Sex Education by Jenny Davis ISBN 0531057569
Sex for One: The Joy of Self-Loving by Betty Dodson
Sexual Revolution in South Africa: The Pink Agenda: The Ruin of the Family by Christine McCafferty and Peter Hammond ISBN 0958398348
Show Me! by Will McBride
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure
Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Sons & Lovers by D.H. Lawrence
The Spanish Labyrinth by Gerald Brenan ISBN 0521398274
Spycatcher by Peter Wright
Steal This Book by Abbie Hoffman
Stoner & Spaz by Ron Koertge ISBN 0763616087
The Story of Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
The Stupids (series) by Harry Allard
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Green ISBN 0803783213
Summer Sisters by Judy Blume
Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
Teenage Lust by Larry Clark
Teleny, sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde
The Terrorist by Caroline B. Cooney
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
Tropic of Capricorn by Henry Miller
Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
Tulsa by Larry Clark
Twelfth Night by Will Shakespeare
Ulysses by James Joyce
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts ISBN 0689717849
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras ISBN 1557044430
What's Happening to My Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras ISBN 1557044449
What My Mother Doesn't Know by Sonya Sones
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare
The Witches by Roald Dahl
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Yerma by Federico Garcia Lorca
Youth in Revolt by C.D. Payne
I estimate that I've read about 50 altogether.

How many have you read?