31 July 2003

Off to Mizzou

No blogging for the next couple of days as I will be trekking about the Show-Me State.

Pujols Watch will be suspended until Monday August 4th.

See ya on Monday.

30 July 2003

This is Television

Last night marked the airing of a long awaited breath of fresh air to the general public.

This is SportsCenter.

Did anyone catch their behind the scenes look at ESPN's crown jewel last night? If not, you might well have missed out on television history.

I'd be hard pressed to find any other show for as long as I can remember that really captured, to quote that beat writer for the Chiefs in Slap Shot, "the spirit of the thing". I really hope that this program receives strong Emmy consideration, because it will be well-deserved.
Now I realize that may be a biased opinion, since I work in the same field as these brave souls.

Let's just chalk it up to the fact that this is for all the ignorant. clueless saps out there that have underminded the jobs shared by the lads from ESPN and my other Live TV colleagues. Hopefully, those individuals had a chance to view this program and perhaps gained a little perspective on our "cake" jobs.

When I hear anyone "comment" why we can't cover this story, or where were we for this accident, and how hard can your job be, reading off a prompter, it's hard. There's so much that goes into making it look easy. More programs like these could really help quell those responses, and offer that great insight into a fascinating lifestyle.

It's important to understand that working in this business can be, and often is, very tough and demanding.

We don't do this work because it's easy. We don't do it because it's simple, and we certainly don't do it for the money.

We do it because it's in our blood. We do it for the moments where you can really help make a difference. We do it for the moments where everything comes together just right and a great story reaches the airwaves. I think that most of us do it to really see something we do connect with the public.

The best rewards are the ones expressed by you the public. You are the barometers for success. It's something we take very seriously and affects every decision we make in this field.

Television is a powerful medium. Hopefully we do that power justice for those precious few moments that we wield it.

27 July 2003

The Boone County Affair

A post tonight by the amazing Sportslady harkened me back to a much simpler time, that I proceeded to share on her comments link.

To save you the trip...and because I can't think of anything else to blog about, I'm posting the unabridged version below.


I remember going to the Boone Co. Fair in Fulton Mo with my Legion baseball buddies, since we were there competing in state.
What better way to pass the time than crash the county fair and hit on the local chicas, much to the dismay of the Fulton brethen.
Ahh, the allure of the unknown pack of girls...

Anyway, the best part of the night was figuring out how to beat the other basket game and cleaning out the stunned carnie for 15 minutes.

The game I speak of is a board with an obtuse angle away from me with a basket directly below it.

The object: Throw the wiffleball into the basket by bouncing it off the backboard.
Sounds easy enough? Not at first.
Anything you threw bounced well past the basket.
After watching some of my friends' attempts, it didn't take long to figure it out.
So, I slapped down a buck and tried my luck.
Nailed it on the first try. Then again, and again, and again.

After 5 tries, the carnie made me leave before he ran out of stuff.

The booty: A number of dumb ass flags, except for the one I kept: The Jamacian inspired "Mary Jane leaf" flag.
Needless to say, a classic.

The secret: Throw the wiffleball at an upward angle so the ball strikes the board surface on its way UP, causing it to "stick" close to the board, eventually rolling down it into the basket.

See how easy it is!

26 July 2003

Play your Cards right, Walt

You know, on the one hand, I can understand Cards GM Walt Jocketty's rationalization that by waiting to make a deal for one or multiple players is beneficial for the organization.
I understand that the prudent thing to do is make the other team sweat and in the end, you will be rewarded.

While I understand all of the above, The Cardinals' pitiful second-half pitching performances, adding to that the horrible news about our "ace", have me at my wit's end.

Memo to Walt: We have to stop the bleeding now. If we wait too long, there won't be any blood left to stop.
Wilco Site Advisory

Special thanks goes out to largehearted boy for the link to this Wilco Live Unreleased site.


25 July 2003

"Sticky" Note

Let me be the first to wish you all a Happy Pine Tar Incident Day.
Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of the infamous Pine Tar Incident, where after tagging a monstrous jack off Goose Gossage late in a game at Yankee Stadium, George Brett was rung up by home plate umpire Tim McClelland. It seems that dear old George's bat was determined to have accrued more than 18 inches of pine tar on its handle, thus breaking an archaic and, IMO, a pointless old rule. It didn't help that the late king of all intigators and a Royal pain in the ass Billy Martin was leading the charge.

It's a good thing that Number 5 looks back so fondly at his most famous career highlight.

Let's just hope that our pine tar laden friend George keeps quiet the anniversary of his first hemorroid. *shivers*

Oh well, maybe he can fall back on a possible new part-time gig that could shake up the highly competitive Kansas City sports radio wars.

I, for one, wouldn't kick him off the mike for too much pine tar.
It's Gold, Jerry....Gold!

Somewhere, Bania is writing this comedy gold into his act.

A comedian in Britain stumbled and broke his leg on stage. The audience continues laughing as the performer slips in and out of consciousness over the next 20 minutes. And we can't resist saying this either.... Gives new meaning to that old show business good-luck saying, 'break a leg'.
--Countdown Staff

Tonight's Top 3
COUNTDOWN’s ‘Top 3’ ways the record industry can actually stop Internet music piracy
No. 3 - Take the Orrin Hatch suggestion, destroy the computers of music downloaders.
No. 2 - Lower the prices of CDs perhaps?
No. 1 - Release only albums put out by David Hasselhoff.”
--Countdown Staff
Weather Pixie Advisory

Ever wanted to know what the weather is like in the great city of Columbus, Georgia...and view it in the form of a cool, lightweight version of me?
Now you can.

My new Weather Pixie posesses all of the above, plus it's damn cool. Plus, the instrumentation used to gauge the elements is literally right next door.
Check it out along the left hand side of your screen.

Doesn't get much better than that.
So, What kind of mileage can YOU get from Cuba to Key West?

These guys definitely deserve a mulligan, just for the effort and ingenuity.
That's the kind of Can-Do attitude we need in this country.

Low-tech, ingenious, and nearly successful.
Cuban migrants "drove" a Chevy pickup truck to within 40 miles of Key West before they were spotted by the Coast Guard and sent back to Cuba. A propeller attached to the drive shaft of the green pickup was pushing it along at about 8 mph. The truck/boat was kept afloat by 55-gallon drums attached to the bottom as pontoons. (LA Times). We have to say, the Coast Guard should have let them in simply on bonus points.
--Countdown staff

24 July 2003

Get Inside The Head of a Priest

It seems that the Kansas City Chiefs' best player has taken to blogging, in his own way.
Check out his Priest Training Camp Diary at his philanthrophic website.
A very cool inside look into the world of professional football.
As for his performances at River Falls to this point:
So Far, So Good.

23 July 2003

Rest assured that he'll be getting a call-back

Seriously, where do these people come from?

ADC (America's Dumbest Criminals): the bank robber who wrote the stick-up note on the back of his resume. Is it any wonder he was having a hard time finding a job?
--Countdown staff

21 July 2003

"One Day at a Time" for Snyder

The Royals drop the opening game of the series to the Oakland A's, 6-1, despite what reads like a nightmarish 9th to lose an otherwise close one at the K.

Other important games around the league: Minnesota takes Seattle 5-4, which moves the Twinkies to within 6 games of the AL Central - leading Royals.

Man, I really love this Snyder kid. What a competitor. He's a much better pitcher than his 1-4 record indicates. I wish we could get the kid a little more positive reinforcement in the vein of run support.
The limited times I've seen him, he's shown some serious flash.
75 pitch count in 7 plus 3 hits...not a bad way to come off the DL.

A disappointing 9th, to say the least. Let''s just leave it at the fact that I'm glad I wasn't watching this train wreck.

You know it''s bad when Pena gets the hook for discussing the strike zone.

Well, at least we have the first 8 innings, plus Snyder's performance (and Hernandez's start yesterday) both respectively coming off the DL recently, are very promising.

An impressive debut by Oakland rookie pitching prospect Rich Harden.

Damn Canadian.

Kyle Snyder
7 3 1 1 1 1 75-49 4.29

Rich Harden
7 4 1 1 2 4 93-57 1.29
A Royal needle in the haystack

Royal fans: For the latest info on the beloved boys in blue, check out this little gem I recently discovered today.

Tell 'em Cory sent ya.
Do You Believe Yet?

After centerfielder Carlos Beltran smashed a 2-run walkoff Home Run in the bottom of the 10th, the first-place Kansas City Royals found themselves taking 3 of 4 from the best team in the AL at Kauffman Stadium.
To put it in perspective, were it not for a bottom of the ninth Grand Slam by All-Star Outfielder and former MVP Ichiro two nights previous (off fellow All-Star and Rookie flamethrowing KC closer Mike MacDougal), The surprising Royals would have been sweeping the Seattle Mariners back to the West Coast.

Folks, we may very well be witnessing history in the making. No team, I repeat, NO TEAM has ever lost 100 games in a season and won their division the next year.
Wait...Did I mention that no one's done that?

People of Kansas City: take heed. Do not underestimate this team.
Instead of questioning why or how this can happen, go see it for yourselves. Take the family to the park. Go see this generation's next great players today.
Take in the sights and the smells of this wonderful summer in Kansas City.

You see, I envy every one of you. Here I am, a thousand miles away from the K, and I want so badly to attend not one game, but all of the games.

Names like Brett, White, McRae, Howser, Herzog, Wilson, Cowens, Patek...these are great players in the Royals past.

Now it's time to drink in the new names: Sweeney, Beltran, Berroa, Relaford, Hernandez, Affeldt, Snyder, Lima, May, MacDougal, Randa, Mayne, Ibanez...and many more.

Come on, Kansas City! It's time to stand up and...


19 July 2003

Another black eye for the "Patriots"

No, I don't mean the football team.
Could these tactics be any more childish and ridiculous?

The White House has attacked an ABC news reporter who filed a report on low morale among the troops in Iraq. People in the administration want it known that not only is the reporter openly gay, he is Canadian. This is their brilliant way of discrediting the journalist. What it's causing instead is a flap about their tactics. Lloyd Grove of the Washington Post says the White House was furious about the report, in which one soldier said Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld should resign. Lloyd Grove is booked.
-Countdown daily email

18 July 2003

A Royal Task at Hand

Things couldn't be better for the Kansas City Royals, right?
Sure, they have arguably the best team in baseball in town for 3 games, but that should bring the fans out in droves. The Royals - A Marquee Matchup?

Believe it.

Alas, though, there could be problems on the horizon. After leading the Royals through six solid innings tonight to take the first game against Seattle, Jose Lima, the improbable ace of the Royals staff, pulled his groin (behave!) and could miss significant time. Keep your fingers crossed for Lima time to return soon.

On the bright side, Juan Gonzalez and his 23 homers, 66 RBIs and a .288 average could be heading to KC. That's still a big if, but could be just the punch this team needs on offense.

Plus, with the possibility of Kyle Snyder returning soon, the Royals need to send a message to the rest of the AL Central: Those 7 games will be tough to make up.

This 8 game stretch will be crucial to knocking on the door for a playoff berth.
LJ lookin' good in red

This has got to be a new record...and in fact it is.
Kansas City Chiefs President Carl Peterson signed his number 1 draft pick, Larry Johnson of Penn State, to a seven year deal today, shattering his record for actually getting a top selection to training camp on time.
Granted, the deal-making prospect is a two-way street...but let's face it, Carl hasn't exactly had a great track record with these things.

Keep Mr. Peterson in your thoughts as he continues his momentum and reward our holy Priest after the hip checks out 100%.

Hope does spring eternal.

Tonight's showing of Triple X is brought to you by...

Too many commercials. Thank God someone is fighting back.

How many times have you gone to a movie and looked at your watch as the film began, curious as to just how long the ads and trailers lasted. Used to be 15 minutes or less, now it's 15 minutes or more. You know, some of the trailers are OK, but the ads, forget about it. Well, where there's frustration there's ultimately a lawsuit. A woman has sued Loews Cineplex for false advertising because movies never start on time. Her lawyer is booked for the big show tonight.
-Countdown staff

The Future is rolling a Snake Eyes

Well, they can't get jobs, but at least they can gamble!
America's teenagers are having a hard time finding summer jobs, but not having a hard time at all finding ways to gamble. A story in the New York Times says that teens are facing stiff competition for jobs for obvious reasons -- the bad economy. A separate story in the Boston Globe says that studies show that more than 30% of high school students gamble, and that the ways they can throw their money away have increased exponentially. With small-time rackets, the internet and legal gambling like casinos, racetracks and lotteries, teens are surrounded by gambling options. The same studies claim that teen gamblers are more likely than other students to smoke, drink and drug. Yet many parents react the way you might expect them to: "Thank God, it's just gambling."
-Countdown staff
Out of the Mouths of Babes

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year olds, because the last one is classic!

Better to be safe than..........................punch a fifth grader.
Strike while the ...............................bug is close.
It's always darkest before......................Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of................termites.
You can lead a horse to water but...............how?
Don't bite the hand that........................looks dirty.
No news is......................................impossible.
A miss is as good as a..........................Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new..................math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...............stink in the morning.
Love all, trust.................................me.
The pen is mightier than the....................pigs.
An idle mind is.................................the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's.....................pollution.
Happy the bride who.............................gets all the presents.
A penny saved is................................not much.
Two's company, three's..........................the Musketeers.
Don't put off till tomorrow what................you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world
laughs with you, cry and........................you have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as......................Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not................ spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed...................get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you..........see in the picture on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind................get out of the way.

And the favorite:
Better late than................................pregnant!
courtesy Ideanet

Signs of the Apocalypse...or, Hey, I thought Jimmy the Greek was dead?

Well, here's his reincarnate.

16 July 2003

It's the Gay A-Team...(Not that there's anything wrong with that)

I can see the pitch to the network execs now: The Gay A-Team swoops in to save the world from another fashion faux pas.

OK. I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit that I love Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, the new show on Bravo.

What's not to love? A fashionably challenged straight guy gets a makeover courtesy of the only species in this world that can truly take on the task: Gay men.

Think about it: All the sense, expertise, and know-how of women, with access to the inner workings, quirks, hangups, (and equipment) of the troubled soul.

The result: A cornucopia of humor, advice, and "flair" that puts all those other "makeover" shows to shame.

Which begs the obvious question: Why didn't I think of this?

I give this show two big snaps.

13 July 2003

Pujols springs to life

Well, looks like Albert's "slump" may finally be over. After going a paltry 3-for-19 (good for a .158 average) in his last 5 games, Pujols unleashed a 3-for-5 performance against the Padres at Busch tonight, finishing San Diego off a bottom of the 11th walk off 2 run Home Run, the first of his career.

One more notch in the 23 year old's belt.

Pujols Watch Update
(through July 12)
90 347 81 128 31 0 27 240 86 38 31 1 1 .369 .431 .692 1.123

11 July 2003

I think Mr. McFarlane really wants me to buy his product.

Here are some of the toys set to hit a store near you.
Click the name for pictures

In Stores Now

Jim Edmonds

Mike Sweeney

Coming in September

Scott Rolen

Coming in August

Priest Holmes

Warning: More Countdown propaganda

From the pen of Olbermann and staff
The Vatican has moved forthrightly into the 21st century, publishing a teen sex guide which includes gems such as "Don't, by your attitude and movements, exhibit your body, especially if you have a physique which turns heads." Soon to follow, no doubt, is the Vatican's teen TV viewing guide (Don't watch), the Vatican's teen movie guide (try to avoid the "talkies"), and the Vatican's teen guide to music (Lawrence Welk, yes, Andy Williams, No).
--Countdown daily email

To sign up for more hilarity, click here.

And no, I'm not being paid to say this....yet.
This Public Service Announcement is brought to you by the Mainframe

Are you always struggling to find out when your favorite sports team plays? Wish you could have your team's schedule at your fingertips, on your desktop or PDA?
The Mainframe is here to help.
SportCenter for News Junkies

OK...I know he's had the show for awhile now, but I'm trying to get the word out to the streets. If you're sick of 24-7 news, give Olbie's show, Countdown, a try.

BTW...Happy 25,000th store are in order for the conveinence chain 7-11, on this, the 11th of July...oh yeah, and before you get carried away, that's a coincidence, not irony.
Maybe he was the imposter during the Stanley Cup Playoffs

First I thought my friend Rich was the serial killer, now he's posing as Walt.

What gives?

ABC's #1 flip-top head converts

Damn Canadian. *snickers*

Jennings Becomes an American
Canadian-born ABC News anchor Peter Jennings says he had long pondered becoming a U.S. citizen but was finally moved to do so, in part, by a newfound "sense of community" he felt after the Sept. 11 attacks on America. "There's only one absolutely practical reason to become a citizen, and that's to vote," Jennings, who turns 65 later this month, said Tuesday.

"It's an emotional decision you make," he said. "I've been here a long time, I have a lot to be thankful for, I have a deep love for the country.

It certainly has a lot to do with gratitude." Jennings took his formal oath as a U.S. citizen during a routine swearing-in ceremony on May 30 but did not go public with the news until this week. Jennings said he had contemplated U.S. citizenship for "many, many years," but acknowledged "it would not have made my mother happy." That problem vanished after her death a number of years ago, he said. Jennings' national origin emerged as an issue last summer when country music star Toby Keith was dropped from the performance lineup of a Jennings-hosted July Fourth music special on ABC.

Keith accused the network of dumping him because of Jennings' objections to the strident lyrics in the hit song he wanted to perform. As a result, Jennings and his Canadian citizenship became targets of scorn leveled on talk radio shows and the Internet.
--(Reuters) (Hollywood Reporter, 7/9/03)

courtesy Ideanet

Somewhere, Rupert Murdoch is preparing for world domination...

One of TV's last strongholds against monopolization is beginning to crumble. I have no more words.

NAB About-Face on FCC Ownership Rules
In a jarring about-face, the National Association of Broadcasters has decided to oppose all pending legislation that would roll back the Federal Communications Commission's recently enacted rules changes that relaxed media ownership limits.

The NAB has also reached out to the major networks to join with it in its new position, apparently seeking to head off the formation of a competing trade group that would represent network interests.

Until Tuesday, under orders from its affiliate-dominated board of directors, the NAB had been lobbying vigorously to win legislation that would roll back the FCC's decision to relax the cap on national TV ownership. The cap was lifted to let broadcasters acquire stations reaching 45 percent of the nation's TV homes after the three Republican FCC commissioners voted for the change. The two Democratic FCC commissioners voted against the change.

The NAB's marching orders have long been to keep the cap at 35 percent -- a level the association has maintained for years is vital to checking the power of networks over their affiliates. But industry and congressional sources said NAB officials have decided to give up the cap fight because they fear they won't be able to win legislation that would focus on the cap alone -- and that any measure approved by an increasingly heated Congress would be likely to be loaded down with provisions reversing FCC deregulation that key NAB members support. Those include the relaxation of the newspaper-broadcast cross-ownership restrictions.

The sudden change brought an angry rebuke from Rep. John Dingell, D-Mich., the ranking member on the House Committee on Energy and Commerce: "The NAB's decision to reverse itself on the issue of the national television ownership cap is an unfortunate retreat from its proud history of support for localism, diversity and competition in the broadcast marketplace. My efforts, and those of my colleagues, to repeal the FCC's ill-advised decision to raise the ownership cap to 45 percent will not be deterred. And I remain confident that many of NAB's own members will continue to support us."

Sources said NAB President and CEO Eddie Fritts has also asked representatives of the Big 4 TV networks to join NAB in its fight against any legislation. All of the networks bailed out of the association over the past several years in a dispute over the cap issue. One source said NAB's change of direction on the cap issue could also take wind out of the sails of the Local Broadcasting Alliance, a new organization that the networks have been planning to launch to represent the interests of their owned-and-operated TV stations in Washington.

A major test of the newfound industry unity could take place next Wednesday when the House Appropriations Committee is slated to consider an FCC appropriations bill. Sources expect the committee to consider a rider that could roll back much of the deregulation the FCC voted to adopt on June 2. An NAB spokesman declined comment on the association's new legislative strategy. But the NAB's Mr. Fritts has scheduled a briefing with reporters Thursday at which he is expected to announce the association's new plan.
-- (Television Week 7/9/03)

courtesy Grahme Newell's Ideanet

10 July 2003

A Reminder How Sad One's Life can Become

It's a banner day at the COD/KO homestead. One of the most anticipated grand openings in Columbus is currently underway a quarter mile from work:
Jumbo China Buffet.

This on a day when Fort Benning's Third Bridgade is coming home.
Nice to know I have my priorities in check.
Evangelistic comments from my favorite Priest

The best player in the NFL has a new website.

I caught Mr. Holmes on his hour long interview today on Kansas City's all sports station WHB-AM. He sounds great.
He's basically 100%...pounding that hip into submission with some serious strength drills. Great news since the rumor mill has been peppered with contradiction.
I'm really pumped about the season...and I'm not alone. The boards at KC Star's site are lighting up in anticipation for the Lombardi run.

Only 26 days and counting to Chiefs Training Camp.

09 July 2003

Hittin' some Rough "Spots"

Maybe I'm a little biased being in the television field and making commercials for a living...but this list brings a smile to moi's face.

All We Are Sayin'...

...is give spots a chance. At least that's Eric Neel's position.
Ode to the great Emanski

When will Fred McGriff throw away that ridiculous hat? Not soon enough.

Page 2's Jim Caple breaks down the Ironman of Commercials.

08 July 2003

How the sexes change their oil

Another fun article from Newell's Ideanet.

Instructions for Changing Oil
Submitted by Alan Batten
Oil Change instructions / Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2. Drink a cup of coffee. 3. 30 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent: Oil Change $20.00, Coffee $1.00, Total $21.00


Oil Change instructions / Men:

1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2. Stop by 7 - 11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine. 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Cuss.
12. Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil. 13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16. Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.
18. Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change". Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to recycle.
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7 - 11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug.
27. Drink beer
28. Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawn mower gas. 29. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
30. Drink beer.
31. Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32. Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33. Begin cussing fit. 34. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss August in the staples.
36. Mo' Beer.
37. Clean up hands and forehead, and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
38. Beer. 39.
Beer. 40. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41. Beer. 42. Lower car from jack stands.
43. Accidentally crush remainder of case of new motor oil.
44. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23-43.
45. Beer.
46. Test drive car.
47. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48. Car gets impounded.
49. Call loving wife, make bail.
50. 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

courtesy Grahme Newell's Ideanet.

Money spent: Parts $50.00, DUI fine $2500.00, Impound fee $75.00, Bail $1500.00, Beer $40.25, Total -- $4,615.25 But at least you know the job was done right!


06 July 2003

Number One...with a Bullet

What a difference a week makes.

After wallowing in fourth place of the All Star Voting in the outfield just last Tuesday, Albert Pujols shot to the top spot, even passing Barry Bonds for number one on the NL list.

In the end, the 2001 AL and NL Rookies of the Year arguably the best ever, both ended up as the top vote getters for their respective leagues.

Here's how the NL outfield race finished up:

Pujols (2,030,702)

Bonds (1,919,116)

Sheffield (1,533,278)

Sosa (1,390,355)

In one week, Pujols picked up approximately 1.3 million votes to garner his 1st All-Star Selection. Other Cardinals making the trip to Comiskey are:

Elected to start for the NL

Renteria [SS]

Rolen [3B]

Cardinal reserves include:

Jim Edmonds [OF]

Woody Williams [SP]

Justice prevails. Congratulations Prince Albert!

Click here for a complete list of the AL All-Stars.

Click here for a complete list of the NL All-Stars.

What Happened to the Green Striped Shirt?

Ever wonder what happened to Steve Burns of Blue's Clues? Check out his new career here.

05 July 2003


Happy 4th, everyone!

Today was a busy day for the station. Every year on Independence Day, WTVM throws a HUGE bash for the cities of Phenix City, AL and Columbus, GA called "Thunder on the Hooch".

Needless to say, since it is a free event that lasts all day, every Tom, Dick, and "Hairy" comes out of the woodwork to attend this enormous gala. Last year, the estimate hit around 40,000 people. This year, thanks to Jeff Carson, the high profile headliner for the "God and Country Celebration" at the Phenix City Amphitheater, we're looking at 50,000.

The event is always the biggest of the year, and the public eats it up. It's great to celebrate with all those people, but always makes for a long day.

However, some funny things happened @ this Thunder:

1. One of my co-workers asked me if I had a girlfriend today. Look out, KO, looks like there's some competition in the ranks!
Laughingly, I informed her that I did, and she works at the station as well, to which 2 plus 2 was finally solved.
To be honest, she was asking so she could set me up with a friend of hers, to which I promptly forgot all about the previous sentence.

If you ask me, I think she was asking for herself. Sure, her husband was standing a foot away, but I can read between the lines.

2. I got to judge the All-American Apple Pie Baking Contest. Twist my arm! I cannot believe that they had trouble finding someone, anyone who wouldn't eat FREE pie.

At any rate, the best pie was basically a unanimous selection, and I got my fill from the other "worthy" contestants.

3. The Great American Duck Race showed some minor "quacks" in the armor, but eventually worked itself out.

4. Finally, I had a 20 minute discussion with a backwoods man who was peeved because he sent 2 letters to my GM asking for a station coffee mug to which he never received a response. Seriously. So I told him that I would relay his complaint to the GM and finally wiggled my way out of the conversation. I might've still been there, had I not thought quickly.

Plus, to top it off, He remarked how much he enjoyed watching KO. Enough to send shivers up my spine.

All in all, a good day was had by all. I got a t-shirt and a sweet WTVM "Greg Norman" straw fedora to wear all day.

I looked like a friggin' golfer all day, though I love the hat. Anyone care to hit the links?

PS I think I heard that @#R#@% Lee Greenwood song 465 times today.

Color me unpatriotic, but I can't stand that song. Am I alone here? Why do I need this song, or an idiotic Toby Keith redneck song to tell me I love this country?

Toby Keith. Spreading his redneck, Muslim hate seed across the US all summer long.

04 July 2003

Pujols Watch Update

.378 AVG | 24 HR | 76 RBI

courtesy ESPN.com

Prince Albert broke out of his 1-for-14 "slump" to the Giants with a 3-run HR in the Cards' explosive 3rd inning today as they avoid the sweep to the NL West leading Giants.

Here's Mr. Pujols' line through July 3rd


R | H | 2B | HR | RBI | BA | OBP | SLG | OPS

75 | 119 | 29 | 24 | 76 | .378 | .435 | .698 | 1.134

Not bad for the NL's fourth best outfielder. What a shame.

Here are some other players that may not get the recognition they deserve as we near the All Star Break.

Busy day on the Western Front

Just when you start to think that every NHL team is afraid of the CBA
(not the league Isiah destroyed but Collective Bargaining Agreement).

Speedy Ducks flying east to the Rockies for the winter

Hatcher heads home

And the Blues stand pat. To be truthful, I'm glad. They need to rebuild and get back to a youth movement. Plus, I like this team that we have right now.

I know I'm in the minority of Blues fans, but I'm sick of all the outrageous spending. I hate the CBA and the sad state of the league, but I'm happy that the Blues are no longer subscribe to the payroll inflation that nearly destroyed them.
A common phobia throws a little more coal into the fire....

Wow. Just what people with a fear of ecalators need: Ammunition.

A scary scene, no doubt.
I'm back

Yea! I'm back home.

2 messages on the machine from KO. Now she thinks I'm sleeping around on her.

If only she would check the site, then she would know I'm not cheating on you or dead.

I wonder which would be worse:
Her thinking I'm cheating on her or Her thinking I'm dead?

I hope it's the latter.
Power Outage

The Power went out at my home. This post is the only way I know of letting KO know that I'm not dead.

So Here goes: I'm not dead.

I just called home from work and got the machine, which means that after 3 hours in the dark, the power is back.

So, I'm going home.....more posts to come later tonight.

03 July 2003

A Peek at Columbus

Here's a nice look at Uptown Columbus.

Earlier in the day the SkyCam focused on the Phenix City Amphitheatre, site of the God and Country Concert at WTVM's Thunder on the Hooch.

Due to the flooding brought to us by "Hurricane Bill", half of the theatre was underwater.

Needless to say, The whole situation has a lot of people at the station on edge. Not that I could blame them.

Bonus: Here's a look at our newest toy, Triple Doppler 9.

02 July 2003

Royal gain

The Royals, looking for help in their first pennant chase in 10 years, acquired right-handed reliever Curtis Leskanic from the Milwaukee Brewers today.

4-0 with a 2.70 ERA. Not bad.

Here's the scouting report on this guy. Is this guy insurance should we lose Grimsley? The plot thickens...

Scouting Report

A healthy Leskanic throws a moving fastball in the low-90s, as well as a hard slider. He is tough to hit but sometimes fights his control. Last year his pitches lacked their usual velocity and movement. As a result, his walks dropped but he was much easier to hit. Leskanic didn't get groundballs the way he used to, as his groundball-flyball ratio dropped to 1.01, a career low. That may have contributed to his serving up a number of crucial home runs. His problems with lefthanded batters returned last season after he seemed to have solved them in 2000.

Defense & Hitting
Leskanic is tough to run on for a righthander. In the field, he's committed at least two errors in two of the past three seasons. Four of his seven career hits have gone for extra bases, but he rarely gets the chance to prove his power is anything more than a fluke.

courtesy ESPN.com
Signs of the Apocalype

I am a fan of the Worldwide Leader in Sports. Ask anyone who knows me.

But, can someone explain to me why David Justice is now an color analyst for Baseball Tonight.

Anyone? Please.
The truth is revealed

Royals and Cards fans: you can thank me later.

As a service to those of you who feel the '85 I-70 World Series wasn't played on even ground, or perhaps, that an umpire decided the series. I don't want to point fingers, but the most likely culprit is Ron Rekinger (name changed to protect anominity).

Well, I've decided the rift once and for all with a sports simulation service called What If Sports.

Check it out, but a word of warning: You may never leave the computer again. Seriously. It's that cool.

Need more proof? ESPN.com's The Sports Guy may be able to talk some sense into you...but either way..

Don't say we didn't warn you.
Dreaming of Motown

As most of you loyal readers (all two of you) know, Wilco is by far my favorite band. In case you haven't visited her site, KO's flying back home to Detroit this week.

Well, it just so happens that the said favorite band is playing the Comerica TasteFest today.

But alas, she is trekking up north the U.P. (stands for "upper pennisula", or the top of the hand) for some quality time with the parentals and won't make it there in time for the free show.


Free shows are the best, let alone when it's a band you love (though I have a strong premonition that I like them slightly more than her).

Case in Point: The best concert I've seen was a free show.

Ryan Adams | The Blue Note | 10.3.01

Oh well. I'm know she'll have fun, even without the boys from Chicago.

Keep spreadin' the Wilco love

01 July 2003

A Good Day to be a Cards fan

The biggest threat trade-wise to the Cards season lies in the Deep South, and not on Chicago's North Side.

Mike Lowell
courtesy espn.com

However, the Marlins decided today to hang onto NL HR leader Mike Lowell until the end of the season, with hopes of signing him to a multi-year deal.

Lowell has been linked to trade rumors all season long with the Cubs, who desperately need to fill the hole at third base.

*sign" ....Thank you, Florida.
"America's most successful humorless comedian"

Gallagher will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you this much funnier look at the drying of paint.

Finally, A TV Insider that speaks the truth.

Hef "Gets It"....Don't You?

Something to look forward to, for all of you that read it "for the articles".

Playboy Hopes Guys Get It


Playboy, the 50-year-old famed men's magazine seeking its way out of a mid-life crisis, wants to tell guys where to get it. A new print advertising campaign -- the magazine's first since the late 1990s -- is set to kick off Friday in USA Today, the largest U.S. newspaper by circulation, with the slogan "Guys Who Get It, Get It Here." The magazine, owned by Playboy Enterprises Inc., hopes to boost newsstand sales by grabbing the eye of new readers. Playboy's newsstand sales fell nearly 19 percent in the last half of 2002 in the face of stiff competition from titles such as Maxim, Stuff and FHM. These offer younger readers a bawdy take on babes and entertainment that feature up-and-coming actresses appearing nearly nude on cover pages but -- unlike Playboy -- never naked inside. Newsstand sales now make up only 11 percent of Playboy's monthly average sales of 3.2 million copies. Most copies are mailed to an aging demographic of subscribers. (Reuters)

courtesy Grahme Newell's Ideanet
You mean, we don't all want to watch Fear Factor and The Real World

Per usual, it takes a little egghead like Neilsen's fact-finding mission in May to bring the powers that be to the realization that the audience tends to enjoy creativity and originality.

Hey....I would've told them for half the price. Read on:

One month into the postseason summer frame, the aggressive rollout of original programming is paying off for the Big Four broadcast networks.

From May 22-June 22, the overall level of homes using television is up 2% from the comparable period last year to a 55.4 rating. But for all the talk about how reality programs tend to skew younger, the biggest summer-to-summer gains have come in the 35-plus demo categories. Viewership among adults 18-49 is essentially flat from the same period in summer 2002, while viewership among men in the 18-49 and 18-34 demos is down 3%, a decline attributed to the weak turnout this month for the NBA Finals on ABC. The numbers for women 18-49 are up 3% and up 1% for women 18-34. NBC and Fox boast the largest summer-to-summer gains in the adults 18-49 category, with NBC up 14% to a 3.3 rating (a figure that excludes NBC's summer 2002 NBA Finals telecasts), while Fox has climbed 13% to a 2.7. In total viewers, Fox has taken the biggest summer-to-summer leap with an 18% spike to an average of 6.3 million viewers.

courtesy Grahme Newell's Ideanet

What My Birthday says about me

September 21
Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way [so dead on]

hates fighting [ditto]

stress and labor once upon a time...

tends to laziness and idleness ugh....yeah...

soft and relenting mmmm...

makes sacrifices for friends I think so...

many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom more true than I'd like to admit...

often wailing and complaining not really...

very jealous No Way! hehe

loyal. Oh yeah...

Wow...now that's scary.

Wanna see what secrets lie in the anniversary of your life? Find out.