21 February 2005

A Special Torture

[Practicing in a mirror before his high school reunion]
Martin Blank: Hi. I'm, uh, I'm a pet psychiatrist. I sell couch insurance. Mm-hmm, and I - and I test-market positive thinking. I lead a weekend men's group, we specialize in ritual killings. Yeah, you look great! God, yeah! Hi, how are you? Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm Martin Blank, you remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough.
~Grosse Pointe Blank

The following is an email verbatim that I sent to my friend and fellow classmate, Travis.
Why? Because of my willingness to share the minutiae of my daily life...
...and incredible laziness.

Did you get your Reunion info in the mail there, chief?
Me too. I already responded to Allison via email.
Are you going?

Is anyone else that you know going?
Is that a poorly constructed sentence?
Do I care?
Expect a phone call in the near future to discuss.
I think Kirsten and I are making preliminary plans to attend.
I always said in the past that I probably wouldn't go. So much for that.
On top of that, I heard from my mom that [former teammate and now KHS Baseball Head Coach]Andy Jackson wants to have another reunion of sorts for the 1995 State Champion KHS Baseball Dynasty.
Don't think I'll be attending that soiree.
Why do I feel this sudden urge to watch "Grosse Pointe Blank"?

PS I'm old.

See you at the "I've peaked and I'm kidding myself" party.
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