02 August 2005

Contacting Your Progressman

If you have yet to peruse a copy of the book "America" written by the genii behind the Daily Show, I highly recommend it.

Also, since it looks like a textbook and school's just around the corner, I can say that the text will be mandatory this semester.

In the meantime, to whet your apettite, here is a sampling from the book....a template, if you will, for writing a letter to your Congressman.

The following appears on page 78 of "America". The following is parody. Say it with me. PARODY:

Representative or Senator's Name
Representative or Senator's Address
That Domey Thingy
Washington, DC [ZIP TK]

Dear Honorable (for senators)/ Distinguished (for representatives)/ Abby (for advice-seekers)

As a concerned citizen of your district/state/household, I kindly request/urge/demand/insist/order you at gunpoint to co-sponsor/condemn/remain ambiguously silent on the legislation that Rep. Elder Centrist Democrat and Senator Moderate Republician You've Never Heard Of have introduced to increase/decrease spending for _______________.

I am not ordinarily moved to write, but I have a child affected by/vaguely remember a TV report about/have nothing better to do than write a message [can friends @ gmail].

I supported you through all five elections/three samdals/two convictions and would be extrmely disappointed to have to vote against/stalk/cuckold you.

Thank you/your unpaid intern for hearing me on this important

Respectically/Disrespectically/Suck it,

Your Name/Pseudosym/"X" mark

(c) 1995 America: The Book
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