19 August 2005

Missouri Loves Company - Friday

Author's Note: My plan was to write about Friday....that plan folded.
The following is about our lunch date at a Kirksville original.
Some will know it well.
Most won't know it at all.
If nothing else...it's an original.

Day 2 – Friday

11:00 AM
Lunch @ the “Shitty”

K said to me tonight that Thursday night’s slumber was one of the best in weeks.

Good to know we’re off to a good start.

After the shit, shower, and shave, I called Brock to see what the lad was doing for lunch.

As if reading my mind, he suggested we eat at “The Shitty”.

I obliged.

I know what you’re thinking…The Shitty?
Surely, just from the mere mention of the name, it merits a charming chateau with a delightful board-au-faire from which to choose.

Indeed, it is…to the trained eye of a Kirkatoid, as we are commonly referred to by the city folk.

One of the more endearing qualities of growing up in a small town are the local “Mom & Pop” establishments one can frequent and, for many, grow fond of their small town charms.

The Shitty is no exception.

Pancake City, as it’s known to the outsider and your government’s IRS, is a greasy spoon on the north end of town, sitting in the shadow of its archenemy of commerce, Wal-Mart.

As an aside, it should be noted that, on a dare, after an evening of imbibing copius amounts of adult beverages, I addressed a bank check to "Da Shitty" in payment for services rendered.

The Shitty: Always a mistress to which I return after a night of drunken carousing.

Shirt? Shoes? Not so much a requisite than a suggestion. Flannel and trucker caps are the apparel of choice for the road-weary 18-wheeler wayfarers that dominate the clientele.

You get the idea.

The only changes made to our fair establishment?
Some new tables, now with adverts, mostly for realtors and fisheries in the area…obviously tackling the diverse target audience.

A quick aside addressed to the real estate agents on said tables:
Are we sure it’s a good idea to have your home numbers plastered on the eating surfaces of drunks and hill people alike…where the key business hours are in the wee hours?
A good buzz and a cell phone could mean many sleepless nights for the people adorned on it.

Oh well…karma’s an evil mistress.

Back to lunch. I passed on my standard dish, The Killer, a tenderloin sandwich the size of a plate, to partake in one of the Shitty’s new “Angus” burgers.
I’m thinking Angus is a loose term…but a burger sounded pretty good at the moment.
KO also went the Angus route, opting for the Bacon Ranch. As she says now about her lunch….”Typical Shitty faire….greasy, edible, with lots of pickles”.
Say what you will about the Shitty…they don’t skimp on the condiments.

Some other Shitty staples to chew on:

Bendy straws.
Mac & Cheese Nuggets (eaten by Sarah, the 7-year-old daughter of my friend Josh…she would not recommend)
Brock & Josh’s choice: The B & G special…Always a late night fave of the drunken masses.

The check (for KO and myself)
2 mammoth Angus Burgers
Seasoned Waffle Fries
2 Diet Cokes

The damage
$13.10 Subtotal
+ 2.90 Tip
$16.00 Total

Vive le Shitty.

More to come...including the Meet & Greet at Il Spazio...
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